Kelly Brooks-Benefield

fun fact: I could beat anyone anytime at Family Guy trivia

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

Tell me you have kids without telling me you have kids. I’ll start: today at work I brought my colleague the mail & sang, out loud, “here’s the mail it never fails it makes me wanna wag my tail when it comes I wanna wail MAAAAILLLL” 😐

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@Krystina_Ray @ktfuntweets @BenandSkin @Reddit She has quite the uterus herself. Is it a compliment? We dunnodis.

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

It’s been 84 years since I’ve seen Cookie Butter at @TraderJoesBot and I don’t know what to do with myself can anybody hear my cries 😭

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

I have committed to not tweeting except once a year to beg @sonicdrivein to please bring back the Dill Pickle flavored slushy 😭😭

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@sonicdrivein please PLEASE bring back the pickle juice slush 😭 #quarantinecravings #tweetingjustforyou

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

A helllllllllllmet!

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@SchittsCreek

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@SchittsCreek

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

Things that made my toddler cry this week:
- I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare
- the bath was "too wet"
- he wanted syrup for breakfast...just syrup
- his sister "keeps looking at him"
- he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob)

How about your kid?

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

He laughs but this is not a game. Seripus applicants only, send all resumes to me for consideration

[Corey Brooks @coreybrooks34]

@DerrickMTV Hahahaha 😂😂 all my ladies out there that want at least 5 babies w me hmu

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@coreybrooks34 @DerrickMTV No but really I need someone to date my brother so baker can have cousins....it’s time

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@ktfuntweets @BenefieldDrew It’s ight

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

Catherine was feeding Isaiah today. Seeing as her name is Catherine and she breastfeeds, it was only a matter of time before I said, “How’s he enjoying the catnip?”

I mean, she signed up for this when she married me so it’s really her fault her life turned out this way.

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

Not shocked at this news. This is the same airline that inexplicably let Kevin McCalister board the wrong plane in ‘92. https://t.co/HucNQLSwa4

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

#proudsis #bringsomebling https://t.co/9cKETv1h1g

[T. Brown @_taylordbrown_]

@coreybrooks34 @ZalesJewelers #proudfriend

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

Those are SWEET! Baker needs some👌🏼 https://t.co/HVMDSX1uWD

[Drew VerHagen @DrewVerHagen]

Thanks @NewBalance for hooking up my nephew, Jude, on his first birthday!

[Kelly Brooks-Benefield @kbrooksx]

@purpskurpz But why were you at a salon tho

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

I’m sitting next to Catherine on the couch watching TV. She just leaned over and asked me why I have to sit so close to her. Marriage is a beautiful thing.

[Tiny Buddha @tinybuddha]

You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.