kellie

short n(ot) sweet

[Sam Bailey @slambailey]

This is the dream outcome of posting a close friends story

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

i am an old woman & twitter is my porch

[vicki gotti @thot46868884]

I hate showing my coworkers stuff on my phone i be naked as fuck in here

[nicole 𖦹 ☼⋆｡˚⋆ฺ ∞ @coochiecrying]

being a woman is the best thing on earth next to mexican food & weed

[tea ☕️ @realteaemoji]

men should be banned from sneezing in public until they can learn to behave themselves when they do it

[lxy ☆ @organicshorty]

when i drink i just get real talkative and start feeling even more sexier i’m glad i don’t get angry n try to beat ppl up

[☥ @rosiesrib]

u can always be skinnier and more evil

[Lupin @lupinxart]

twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media

[evelyn @portiaspetrat]

ever since i was a little girl ive loved information

[❥ @bedchemtruther]

exactly

[Jenni @hashjenni]

“if you sleep in the afternoon, you won't sleep at night”

me in the afternoon and night:

[Agita Christie @pagan_hoetry]

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in

[very baller cash money normal sane person @normal_ballerz]

going on an evil walk

[iya ★ @hotmessjunk]

me checking my bank account after i prioritized my happiness:

[˗ˋˏ 🍰 ˎˊ˗ @BUSYW0MAN]

universal woman experience

[car 🐾 ꕤ @sabsugars]

I WAS SO FOCUSED ON THE TURTLE AND THE CHICKEN THAT I DIDNT NOTICE HER BEING KICKED OUT OF THE CAR 😭�

[COVID and Cambria @BoringDrew]

this is so much better than taking pictures of strangers lmaoooo I'm rolling

[AARON @lidolmix]

her releasing manchild on please, please, please’s anniversary after he embarrassed her😭😭 i love a petty popstar i’m sorry

[erika @yeeeerika]

i love the word 'also' because i'm never done talking