Kelly Stapleton

Librarian

[Irvine Welsh @IrvineWelsh]

Choose death

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

@korndiddy

[Tim Duffy™ @TimDuffy]

The two types of quarantine haircut.

[Ian Curtis Is Hungry @hungryiancurtis]

An historic moment: Santa and Robert Smith reach an agreement that will allow Goths to celebrate Christmas.

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

@TBlackford3 Sending much love to you and your sweet boy. I am so sorry for what you are going through.

[feminist next door @emrazz]

If women were allowed to get mad and men were allowed to get sad we’d all be a lot happier overall.

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

I began my morning by unfollowing the Dalai Lama for saying something that could have easily spewed from the president's filthy mouth. I have a feeling my day is only going to get weirder.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

The assault on reproductive freedom/abortion access happening right now is disgusting, and every legislator pushing it is a ghoul who deserves to develop a fresh kidney stone every time they cum.

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

Before you ask a single mother about her Mother's Day plans, think about who is going to give her kids money and a ride to buy gifts and take her to brunch. If the mom herself will likely be doing all of these things, she's a goddamn rock star and should be treated as such.

[Boy George @BoyGeorge]

Funny as fuck!

[so sad today @sosadtoday]

all my goodbyes are happy because i just want to get the fuck out of there

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

What I want when I look up a recipe: a list of ingredients and instructions for putting the ingredients together.

What I don't want: a story about how your homeschooled kid milked the family goat and made an artisanal cheese to crumble over the finished product.

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

I am so in love with the FBI right now.

[Kelly Stapleton @kelly_stapleton]

@manytypesoftea I could have done without the onions in my vegetable medley.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I just, I just hate all you so much. I really do. I don't know what else to say.

[Neal Brennan @nealbrennan]

To me, every social engagement is an Escape Room.