kels 🥀

gotta keep enough lettuce to support your shoe fetish

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

I know I will face consequences for this but I am done staying quiet. NFL games are 100% scripted. I know this because I was apart of a team of writers that wrote this years Super Bowl. Don’t believe me? Tell me if this looks familiar.

[depths of wikipedia! @depthsofwiki]

it finally happened to me. the guy in front of me on a plane was reading the wikipedia for “airplane”

[dizzy @rundizzy]

(getting back from a walk) im not the person you once knew

[Casey Nowak @IgnatzHaderach]

*hands you six ibuprofen* this is an old family recipe

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

I went to the silly goose convention and they all knew you

[pj @pjayevans]

Standing outside buckingham palace With my portable speaker blasting see you again by Wiz khalifa

[٠࣪⭑ a ٠ @discokisser]

did the queen die thinking harry styles spit on chris pine

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists

[jadey 🤍🩵 @missmilkton]

my dog waiting to have a bite of the boiling water i’m cooking

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Hot air balloons kick ass. Are they safe? Not really. Can you stop if you don't like it? Think again. BUT can you steer? Listen don't bring that negative energy into this wicker basket ok I'm gonna light this flamethrower.

[sally darr @sallydarr]

it’s time to ⚠️BeReal⚠️

[kels 🥀 @kelscant]

i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking when the next season of queer eye is coming out

[kels 🥀 @kelscant]

@th0masg_ no onion rings tho?

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

love the direction men’s clothing is going in (very short shorts) but I argue it can and should be sluttier

[chris melberger @chrismelberger]

Everything Everywhere All at Once has got to be one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Super imaginative, funny, sad, ridiculous and so much more. Easily one of the best flicks in the last few years by far.

What a damn feat.

[. @SuiNeltwork]

Just made $600,000 off a family of four