kels

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kels @kelseygoad]

@fatgirlfriend_ still scared of bees to this day

[kels @kelseygoad]

why are blended blueberries purple ......

[kels @kelseygoad]

@ohmymarissa27 then u also need the crackpipe

[kels @kelseygoad]

a kind soul on reddit told me my physique resembles @megsquats so I guess I can die now because nothing will ever top this

[kels @kelseygoad]

I came a little when saw that it’s going to be in the 70s this week

[kels @kelseygoad]

if country grammar by nelly doesn’t make you feel at least a LITTLE funky, ur unamerican

[kels @kelseygoad]

I would describe my level of fitness as “it’s obvious that I work out but no one would be shocked to see me eating pizza alone in my car”

[kels @kelseygoad]

@guccigraceb Angela Merkel

[kels @kelseygoad]

@bryannamariie_ Oh my goddddd 😂😂 it somehow makes me feel better though that’s other men say just as much dumb shit as mine does hahahahah

[kels @kelseygoad]

I told a lady today at work to have a great day because I thought she was leaving. She was just going to the bathroom and then sat back down at her table. I almost quit on the spot

[pumpkin spice vyvanse @fatgirlfriend_]

Always appreciate my dad for providing these hot hometown updates

[kels @kelseygoad]

was really thinking I was hot shit bc I squatted almost 200 pounds this morning... then I did some push-ups and have hit a new PR of 2. stay humble

[kels @kelseygoad]

I introduced myself to somebody and he didn’t understand what my name was since it’s so american and uncommon here, so my friend explained to him “it’s basically Chelsea but with a typo” lmao drag me

[kels @kelseygoad]

if you’ve ever woken me up from a nap, I’ve fantasized about your death jsyk

[kels @kelseygoad]

people who go straight into vigorous exercise w absolutely no warm up/stretching terrify me..... that’s how ya tear ya whole asshole

[kels @kelseygoad]

I have a lot of questions but first off, who tf nuts on someone else’s glasses............ the disrespect

[kels @kelseygoad]

@ohmymarissa27 I was hungover after drinking 1.5 beers on wednesday..... I feel this