Kerry Lynn Keady

Feet pics if you put me in your writers’ room. 📺

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

My goal today is the same as it was yesterday: to raise the vibration of this Zoom meeting.

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

i just need like 12 margaritas and 45 hours of sleep.

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

god i love reddit

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

you’re not officially a new parent until you’ve googled how much @msrachelforlitt is worth 👏

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Them: T-Mobile internet slows down when you need it most. Get Spectrum.

Me: But Spectrum isn’t pink…

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

google: spiritual meaning of accidentally air frying a spider, a panic attack story

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

@SDFEventCenter fart you

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

do aliens have midcentury UFOs?

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Doctor 👩‍⚕️: why are you here?
Me: my fiancée’s a Virgo ♍️

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Mood: Locking myself in my trailer and refusing to come out

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

alright @machinegunkelly’s entire music @catalogue, it’s just you and me now

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

why is concert for aliens the greatest song title of all time?

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Go to a cheese store. Have fries with mayonnaise. And don’t get so high that you leave your noodles in a mailbox.

—on going to Amsterdam

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Anyone on TikTok: Let’s make this easy Asian cucumber salad

Me, fully knowing I’ll never make an easy Asian cucumber salad: FUCK yeah (watches whole video)

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

First order as Creative Director: buy a lot of black turtlenecks

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Me: I’m hungry
My fridge: Hungry enough to eat raisins though?

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

I don’t know who needs to hear this Mark Zuckerberg, but nobody wants to live in your matrix

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Double fisting drinks but instead of drinks it’s quesadillas

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Mercury Retrograde hack: just stay away from Slack all together

[Kerry Lynn Keady @kerrylynnk]

Dream job: wear a lot of fancy hotel robes