Kevin Palermo

Best known for my 5th place finish in the butterfly stroke at the 2004 North Jersey Regional Swim Meet in Cranford, NJ.

He/him/his

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

A dog isn't cool. You know what's cool? A billion dogs. also one dog. I lied before.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Dear @StevenACohen2 I believe I speak for all Mets fans when I say you can salvage this season by investing in high-powered T-Shirt cannons that can reach the upper decks of the stadium.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Look. The right very rarely makes Good Art but sometimes you just gotta give it up.

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

“What did you say?” My wife asks me

“Oh nothing,” I respond

“All my haters woke all my haters woke” I whisper to myself

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Every once in a while you get a little reminder that Zohran is a pro wrestling fan

[Timmy Facciola @TimmyFacciola_]

Bernie Sanders crashes Zohran Mamdani mid-speech.

Call it WWZ:

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

I wonder what it's like to have blue as your favorite color. What is it like to have a brain that smooth.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

The consultant class is really good at managing candidates in low-profile races where nobody pays attention and money can buy name rec. In a high profile race where a candidate's personal charisma matters, they will sell you a 200 million dollar shovel to dig your own grave with

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

How DARE he be a LOVABLE SCAMP

[Zack Beauchamp @zackbeauchamp]

The bar is high, but I think this is the dumbest anti-Zohran argument I've read so far

[vibe instructor✌🏾🐝 @Vanessa_ABee]

omg did zohran also swim faster than you

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

This reminds me of my extremely correct take that the two greatest American athletes regardless of gender are Simone Biles and Joey Chestnut.

[Cigaretta @thedirtbird]

I feel like women’s gymnastics is the most obvious sport where a man wouldn’t have an “advantage.” You ever see a male gymnast try to do the balance beam?

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

We're making government more efficient!! by creating an extra layer of bureaucracy that will prevent disbursal of funds based on paperwork errors and technicalities, thereby creating additional administrative bloat, which we will never address because we fired everyone!!

[Department of Government Efficiency @DOGE]

Last week, Treasury went live with its first automated payment verification system. In total, $334 million in improper payment requests were identified and rejected due to:
-Missing budget codes
-Invalid budget codes (i.e. the payment was not linked to the budget)
-Budget codes with no authorization (i.e. the budget had already been fully spent)

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

I love him so much.

[Vito Calise @Vitocalise]

Francisco Alvarez on why he got "The Best" Tattooed on his neck in 2021

"I did it because I think I'm the best and sometimes we forget we are the best, and when I look in the mirror I remember I am the best"

Full Interview ➡️ https://t.co/uPeWqgshpC

@jmb9191 @Mets

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Gonna jump on the hype train: sinners is actually as good as everyone says it is

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

People are saying Taft but wrestling fans know the other presidents would gang up to throw him over the top rope. JFK makes it far before being taken out by a faction called The Grassy Knolls. Lincoln wins, last eliminating TR after hitting him with the Emancipation Mutilation.

[Kyle Hamilton @kyledhamilton_]

Not tryna be political but if all 45 presidents were in a Royal Rumble who would win?

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

I like passion fruit because it implies that all other fruit is sexless

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

My partner always reads the acknowledgements when she finishes a book. I think this is lovely of her but also very unhinged. It's literally just a list of people she doesn't know. Anyway, let's go Mets.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

These Nazis...no good, I say.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Kamala needs more surrogates who have been choke slammed through the roof of Hell in a Cell.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Mick Foley is, unironically, one of the best anti-Trump messengers I've seen.

[Wrestle Ops @WrestleOps]

Mick Foley with a message to America and Donald Trump.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Hell yeah brother

[SNY Mets @SNY_Mets]

Times Square this morning 🟣

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

Just found out that the bodega guy who always calls me "my brother" also calls other people "my brother" and I feel very betrayed.

[Kevin Palermo @kevpalermo]

The thing about Francisco Lindor is that he is the greatest man in history.