Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Eccentric un-grounded minimalist. On my boat in paradise. Lucky leprechaun. Veni, Vidi, Amavi. One Human Family. 🏳️‍🌈

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

I don’t read replies, so you should DM me. Also, I don’t read DMs, so you should text me. I do read and respond to texts. Most of the time.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

Goodbye, Twitter. Deleting the app now that @elonmusk will be owning it.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

I have a dear friend who looks exactly like a young Bridget Bardot. She is honestly one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. Her body is perfect. Beautiful personality. Heart of gold. She legit sees a fat and ugly person in the mirror and that makes me so sad for her.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@patriotclass @MohanadElshieky Is that the kind of shit that gets you excited? You’re weird and I bet you’re the life of the party!

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

I have a beautiful natural smile that sometimes lights other people up.

It totally doesn’t show up in selfies, which is why I hate taking them.

It always shows up in group shots.

Compare this, to my profile pic, which is a selfie.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

Today is neon for Fantasy Fest and I didn’t dress up and my GM was like you have to so I went a few doors down and had a hot pink shirt made that says “working harder than an ugly stripper.” So I’m in uniform compliance now, weirdly.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

Fantasy Fest is a blast

[Steve Chiotakis 🫐 @RadioChio]

I wonder how much people will care about inflation or gas prices when the democracy they may’ve deigned to participate in or misprioritized suddenly becomes unavailable for them.

[Jonah Bromwich @Jonesieman]

Trump Org. Trial, Day 2. A potential juror: “Mr. Trump has no morals. He thinks only of himself. I think he is a criminal. I think he has done irreparable damage to this country. And thats exactly why i think i can be impartial in this case."

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@Winking_Buddha @barney1776 @CREWcrew Schumer was and is a Congressional leader.

[Citizens for Ethics @CREWcrew]

BREAKING: The Secret Service received notice of a shooting threat against Chuck Schumer as the Capitol was under attack on January 6, but did not pass it along to Capitol Police for more than an hour.

The threat was flagged for them by Newsmax. https://t.co/BuofMnW43N

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@joncoopertweets Pizza isn’t the first food I think of when in Chicago, but it is when I’m in NYC.

[NWS Key West @NWSKeyWest]

Happy TuTu-Tuesday! Generally dry conditions expected tonight with lows near 70°F and light winds.

Visit https://t.co/I7EVypI26l for the latest forecast details!

#flwx #FLKeys #FloridaKeys #KeyWest #MarathonFL #KeyLargo

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@RonnyJacksonTX Was 8,000,000 extra votes for Biden not a big enough sign for you?

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@ToddYoungIN Is the car out of frame because it’s a Tesla?

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

@ToddYoungIN That’s because there was low demand in 2020 because we were in the middle of a pandemic that Trump couldn’t properly manage. Demand is up because Biden got shots into arms, which Trump also failed at.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

On one hand I hate that all of my friends are young and hot and I get jealous of the costumes they can pull off but on the other hand all of my friends are young and hot and that says something good about me.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

He’s lost his management. The other two big Hollywood management firms have vowed not to represent him. Adidas had dropped him. ⁦@kanyewest⁩ is getting exactly what he deserves and I’m here for every bit of it.

[Captain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ @keywestvibes]

Beach day!

[Max Boot 🇺🇦🇺🇸 @MaxBoot]

Most of the same MAGA candidates who support Donald Trump’s strongman rule at home are either indifferent or hostile to the fate of democracy abroad.

If you want to preserve democracy in America and Ukraine, you need to vote for Democrats on Nov. 8. https://t.co/L19xGETsTp