Chijoke Chikezie

Ezike Oba, Igbo

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

Welcome to the new norm

[CimónAlisa🕯 @thecimonalisa]

this would hit if it wrapped around a thigh like a garter. the dangle is giving tampon string

[ＤＯＣＴＯＵＲ @wakawaka_doctor]

If you have TEFL and want to teach English abroad

No experience needed

Go and apply on gaijinpot , they are hiring.

Salary 1500-2500 usd

If you don’t have TEFL, you can get it for FREE on teacherrecord .com

[Emmanuel Echeta @PenTitan]

"Jesus baby" in bio = A witch

"Proud feminist" in bio = Has a man

"Proverbs 31 woman" in bio = Toxic girlfriend

"Bible verse" in bio = Blows jobs for a living

[God’s Daughter @IyeneomiOgoina]

During the first year of my marriage, I used to have misunderstandings with my mother in law. I called my mum one day to complain, and she said; 'these people are old, why don't you make the later days of their lives memorable? You will still outlive them, so show them love and respect, let their hearts be glad and they will bless you, allow them to eventually leave this world with happy memories of you'. Every hurt in me dissolved at her words, I learnt to forgive and looked beyond my grievance and showed them love. My inlaws are now more family to me than my family. And her words still sticks to me till date. I have also benefitted alot from my in laws, lots of love and resources too and our bond is great.

[Omoalhaja @omoalhajaabiola]

Copy and paste your LinkedIn profile into ChatGPT

Context: This is my current LinkedIn Profile and I want to optimize it for a data analysis role. Could you help optimize it using the most ranking keywords in data analysis industry

I want you to write:

- My LinkedIn headline using technical and domain knowledge. Limit it to 220 characters

- The Summary section combining my domain knowledge, technical expertise, and achievements. Make it scannable and limit it to 2600 characters. Include an uncommon CTA that preaches urgency

Language: Keep it corporate and friendly
Try it

[Wanjohn D-Mecho @wanjohn1]

You’re on a journey on this kind of lonely road with your car and your car suddenly develops a fault, You can’t call for help and your lines can’t be reached due to network issues, what do you do?

Except the car will stop and the engine won’t come up again, please reduce your speed and accelerate softly till you get to a nearby town, if it is an overheating issue, keep driving, put the gear in the neutral position and switch off the engine and let the car keep moving, switch it back on when you have to ascend a hilly road and the car can’t move freely on its own again.

If the battery signal comes up while driving, chances are that your alternator has failed, or the alternator belt is damaged, apply the same method and switch off your AC, radio system or anything that may drain the battery while driving till you get to a safe place.

If it is a flat tyre, maintain a low speed till you get to a safe place to change and use your spare, keep moving. Yes!!! Damage that tyre till you get to a safe place, just keep moving and make sure you have a spare tyre always and it is in a good condition.

If the engine suddenly goes off on top speed, chances are that a fuse is damaged and this is why I will make a thread on how to identify different fuses and how to have them fixed temporarily in case of Emergencies.

If your car jerks or experiences a lazy movement while driving, it’s likely to be a fuel related issue, fuel pump most likely, switch off the engine intermittently and put the gear in Neutral position, keep moving… if the fuel pump rests for about 5mins, it’ll pick up back when you ignite the engine, this will/may at least take you to a safe place or where you can have access to network to make calls.

If you hear strange sounds like knocking sounds or the oil signal starts to blink, relax and reduce your speed, keep moving. Manage it till you get to a safe place or can have access to network.

If your gear/transmission system isn’t selecting well, apply the same method, reduce your speed but keep moving, slow movement is better than no movement, your life and safety matters a lot.

Please note that there are some Mechanical issues that nothing can solve on the road except patience and just to pray to God for safety and help, for example, you run into a pothole unknowingly and the oil pan hits the road and your engine or gear oil leaks away, or your ball joint or tie rod head pulls out, I’ll suggest you leave the car there, roll up your windows and lock up the car and start trekking till you get network or help, staying with the car may make you vulnerable to attacks or attract unexpected company, just keep walking away from the car for safety.

Most importantly, please stay safe and be conscious of your environment.

Be friendly with your Mechanic too or any Mechanic you see on the road.

Don’t manage faults in cars and risk traveling with it.

[Dapsy𓃵 @symplyDAPO]

Who knows her handle, I need to stat following her😍😍😍

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

He should not dare die, a Shetima would be Hell to Tinubu

[Maxvayshia™ @maxvayshia]

Ten uncomfortable truths you have to face.

1. Dollar will continue to rise and will not come down.

2. Things will get HARDER. We just started.

3. Insecurity will worsen.

4. Government will never care.

5. Tinubu still has OVER 7 YEARS to go

6. He will never care at any point.

7. You didn't contribute to this mess but you will partake in the coming suffering if you haven't left the country.

8. Your friends who supported all this, are not your friends of y'all laugh together. They are either deliberately evil, narrow minded or just plain stupid. They are a danger to you either way.

9. Given another opportunity, some of your friends will support APC again for selfish reasons that don't take your safety into consideration.

10. Some people have cornered Nigeria as their personal property and would rather die than relinquish power. The people are just collateral damage in their all-important ambition. You don't matter to them. It may be the land of your birth but they have seized it as theirs. ONLY drastic and fearless methods can bring about a change.

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

Are you from the dead?

[Maxvayshia™ @maxvayshia]

Just spotted a Keke pass by, opposite this barbing salon. Everyone in it is already dead long ago except one person.

There are more wandering earthbound spirits these days than physical human beings.

[Wọlé Fàpóhùndá @wolefapohunda]

For Men, If you've never been taught on how to dress properly then here's a few tips for you. This Year, Dress Like a King, Not Like a Slave:

[Kriss Ray @krissrayNG]

I'll list 10.

1.) Is God eternally seated on His throne? Like does He ever stand up, move around and so on or is He in a sitting position for all eternity?

2.) Before God decided “Okay, let me create something”, what was he doing for the eternity of the time He existed alone?

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

@Blackjiggy45 @Damonosaivbie @Paulechidi [email protected]
Please can you send the soft copy

[BASITO @itzbasito]

Chocolate City just ended the hip hop is dead narrative with their surprise cypher.

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

“We bought”
Your respect for this man is top notch
Homely women still dey this country

[MumZee✨🇳🇬 @_DebbieOA]

We bought freezer, blender, microwave and a new mattress.

Been busy arranging 😭🙌🏽 eseun wa o.

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

@KR3Wmatic Starlink, buy at 400k and sell at 1.2m

[Ayọ̀wándé Adálémọ 🇳🇬 @wandyvirus]

You see, this thing called entrepreneurship is not just about books alone. Not SWOT, not MRR, ARR, etc.

He simply didn't understand the industry he chose and who the power brokers are. He saw NURTW as louts and a threat instead of collaborators or competitors.

Either view would have helped him.
I remember @tokeeto of @foundingLAG, we had meetings with NURTW and RETEAN because they OWN the routes. We travelled to the capital of NURTW (ìbàdàn) and had first-hand experience and advice from Auxiliary and other excos.

They pivoted their business model.After then COVID19 struck.
When I read things like this that put the blame squrely at the government door, I ask, is the NURTW not a key member of the NLC? It is a member of a significant trade union.
In my own line of business, securing my asset is a big task as they are mostly outdoor and subject to vandalism.

We organised the street to protect those assets. I am not going to cry about government, speaking plenty English, I know that doing business in Nigeria is not a behind-the-desk-I-have-an-app thingy.
6 months into operations he is throwing in the towel.

It is beyond technology or MBA buzz words. Businesses anywhere in the world are either the blue or red ocean. The red ocean is harder still.

Big shipping lines have to deal with things like pirates.
In Mexico, they have to deal with the ever-present kidnapping and insecurity.
In Iran, in Iraq, Afghanistan....these businesses know that an MBA class will not work when a push comes to a shove.

In Nigeria, if you don't get it, don't do it. You can not be Ajebutter and think everyone else is.

One meeting could have changed a lot of things in his favour.. just one meeting.

Case in point @touchandpayme the owners of @paywithcowry.
They will start powering payment for yellow buses in Lagos. That's over 12 million trips...each month!

We arrogantly write off our collaborators and then turn around and cry about @followlasg.

It is business silly! It is tough. It is Nigeria, and that is a reality we all have to deal with.

In almost every sector you have their type. At least NURTW belongs to organized labour.

How about those gangs that don't belong anywhere? Just murderous boys who damage at will?

Yet we deal with them. We have them on our payroll and get security reports from them. We hired a supervisor who coordinated and ensured our infrastructure was not vandalised. It works.

I can come on social media and cry that my fibre has been cut or our access points have been destroyed or our solar panels gone. I can write an epistle on how government is the problem.

I choose not to do that. I braved the odds,rolled up my sleeves and get in the ring. There are days I get into fist fights when they become unreasonable.

But the market is worth it, the experience is out of this world. The reward is unquantifiable.

Bàbá Ìjẹ̀bú pays Nm each year to secure his gambling booths. Each....year
Ask Bet9ja, ask @akinalabi of Nairabet.
It is the reality of our society and it is not sad.

If you are putting boots(physical and human assets) on the streets anywhere in the world, you face brutality. Ask restaurant owners in Tottenham and ask how they cope with "men dem".

How much do they pay to the mobs?

It is not strictly a Nigerian problem it is a problem for anyone putting infrastructure and assets on the ground.

Otherwise, stick with the app (call it fintech, edtech, anytech),figure out customer acquisition product/market fit and all the startup buzz words. You will be fine.

If you don't have the heart for it, stay away from the streets.

By the way how is @Shuttlersng doing it?

NB: I also have a failed startup where $3m went down the drain. So I am speaking from both perspectives.

[Chijoke Chikezie @kezie_ceejay]

@the_Lawrenz No gree for anybody this year

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

I grew up watching cartoons like this, so don't ask me to be normal

[uDrake @Slowburn_22]

Twitter do your thing🙏🏽

[YOM🗣️ @ThaBoyYom]

Listen to what her dad said to her