the fix is in

Twitter allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without actually changing the course of history. Statistically at risk. She/Her/Hers ♉️

[the fix is in @kfix56]

ur mom

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Maybe Vance doesn't know this history because it's in one of the books his administration banned.

The difference between Watergate and now is that back then, Republicans actually did something about a law-breaking president. Today, they only roll over for their cult leader.

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

May you heal so hard you do your hobbies again.

[h @ruinsunflower]

yes girl eat your first meal of the day at 3pm

[UFO mania @maniaUFO]

How can you say no to that face?!🤪

[Harry Sisson @harryjsisson]

President Obama just COOKED Trump for his obsession with him “I obviously, you know, have a room in his head. Rent-free.”

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Actually, requiring Doctor’s notes to excuse sick days is inherently classist in a country without universal healthcare, and it is wild how little that is discussed.

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

“depression makes you lazy” idk man, not killing myself is kinda taking a ton of work

[old tom @culture_coffin]

i keep calling it the “men’s world cup” at work and one guy is so mad

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

This is what the internet was invented for

[Andrew Hilary🇵🇸 @AndrewHilaryUS]

I’m not even kidding you guys, the reflecting pool is my favorite story of the entire year so far. This gift just keeps on GIVING

[𝓐 ⭑ @ayojoestar]

CPTSD is just “i have excellent pattern recognition for danger” but the pattern is someone sighing in the next room

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Even Idiocracy wasn’t this fucking stupid.

[Old Man Lefty @OldManLefty1]

The White House looks like shit.. The East Wing has been bulldozed. The lawns looks like they were used for a Demolition Derby. The Kennedy Center is under a tarp. The Reflection Pond is disgusting and fenced off. Trump has turned the Capitol into a shithole.

[jezz @JezziiB]

Please. I beg of you. No more studies figuring out what men find attractive. Some of them fuck corpses. We do not care.

[PeePee🎀 @peegzy1]

The first rule of Twitter is you do not tell people in real life about your Twitter.

[ale 🐞 @stonedinurattic]

when is neglected daughter day

[Andrew Lynch @andrewglynch]

if a toddler puts a sticker on you, that’s a sign of great respect in their culture

[the fix is in @kfix56]

I talk to my husband about this all the time! I’m like “dude ur on horny twitter im on suicide twitter we’re not the same” @DaveDgaiken

[doll 🧁 @nmeowies]

bro literally half of twitter is suicidal and other half horny, nothing in between 🫩

[ᯓ★ @chorio_actis]

i get so sad going back to my empty place after a night with my friends, i'm very certain we're meant to fall asleep in a pile together like a litter of puppies