kidversations

Conversations with Kids

[kidversations @kidversations_]

Another mom asked me what time I wake my kids up in the morning and I’ve never been more confused.

[kidversations @kidversations_]

@Kronykal Mark this under reasons men should not be in charge of women’s bodies.

[MommyingHard @MommyingHard]

Parenthood is paying $100+ for a babysitter just to spend "date night" sitting in the car because now you're too broke to actually go anywhere.

[kidversations @kidversations_]

@VerifiedDrunk You can’t not sing this tweet

[kidversations @kidversations_]

Ouch, burn.

[kidversations @kidversations_]

Me: I’ll let you know when dinner is ready
5: We’ll hear the alarm
Me: I didn’t set an alarm
5: No, the fire alarm

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

The apple that never gets eaten in my kid’s lunch box is one of my longest relationships

[Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3]

I like to give my kids instructions they can easily follow, like: please share with each other and don’t forget to fight about who gets it first

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Marriage is amazing. You basically get a built-in bestie to blame everything on.

[Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest]

Me: *Making myself lunch*

My 3yo: Mmm that looks good. Let’s go sit down and eat it.

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

One minute you’re young and carefree, and the next you’re the office translator for 80s movie references no one else gets.

[🌜🤷‍♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷‍♂️🌛 @raoulvilla]

I watched the movie, Trolls, with my kids and was really surprised that I didn't see a lot of these Twitter accounts

[@sherisayssit @sherisayssit]

My friend in dance class asked me if I was ever a cheerleader and I laughed so hard I choked on my water.

[Michael Vogel @MichaelVogel1]

Some days I feel like I'm a well adjusted adult, other days I get mad that a movie left Netflix, even when I own the movie's DVD.

[redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 @RYGdance]

I’ve been on earth almost 48 years, and I’ve never seen my mom’s bare fingernails without polish

[Late to the party Laura @ericamorecambe]

Had my hair cut into a bob and coloured red yesterday. Went to bed looking like Mary Quant and got up looking like Ziggy Stardust.

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

in true dad fashion I'm going to spend part of my Saturday morning cleaning the garage and smoking a cigar.

[meghan @deloisivete]

My 8yo is trying to sell the halloween candy he can't eat to his brother for $2 a piece, so who do I call to report price gouging

[Late to the party Laura @ericamorecambe]

I just gave my husband listening instructions.

“When there’s noise coming out of my mouth, that’s me speaking.”

[Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking]

you have the face of someone who likes almond joys and has 12 cats.

[Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest]

Good morning! Remember to drink water and that you’re a good parent. These kids are just bad.