Kimberly 🏍

we in this bitch

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

Bridesmaids in my wedding are getting lululemon gift cards.

Now that that's covered, I should probably find a husband.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

The older I get I can see how every womans body is so incredibly beautiful and unique. It shatters my soul to think of women looking in the mirror tearing themselves apart when they could've been formulating plans to fight the communist regime instead.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

Alright. I'm throwing this out into the universe. When I'm able to live off income from stocks and real estate alone and I'm gonna quit my job and spend my days cleaning the ocean and getting veterans into homes.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

I wish somebody would've told me how credit cards worked when I got one. Now that I'm smart with money I still gotta put $2k just towards debt every month. I could literally fly somewhere every month for that amount of money.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

@instagram somebody hacked my IG and changed the email and phone number attached to my account what do I do

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

People are begging for friends that adventure. Bitch what makes you think that somebody who adventures will bring along somebody that will just be on their phone the whole time anyway.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

I can promise nobody cares about your Facebook as much as you think they do. Like, why is your feed so stressful. You could be doing something with your life, but you're a deadbeat that only has problems that are usually your fault. How do I know? Because it's all you post.

[Alexandra Cooper @alexandracooper]

No one, absolutely no one, wants to see you lip singing to a song on your story 😃😃😃😃😃😃🤡😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃🤡😃😃😃😃😃😃🤡😃

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

@whatsadurra @Brriiiittt FDB

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

The only good morning texts I’m getting are from my bank saying my account is low

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

I rant on twitter as an outlet. Rarely do you find rants that change people's opinions. If you want to influence people, or even learn something yourself, you have to discuss it. Like in real life. Your rants dont matter.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

Matt and I have our faults but at least we're not a Disneyland couple

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

The credit card debt is a lost cause but hey I'm at 480# right now. I'm just the asshole that squats heavier than she deadlifts.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

My new years resolution is to pay off my credit card debt and join the 500# club

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

Not to mention you can start college while you're still in. I know multiple sailors that have a masters and some that have 2. And they're transferring their 4 years of college to their wife or kids when they get out.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

If you want free college join the military. Pay 4 years, get 4 years. You can complain for 40 years about how college "should" work and sit on your ass or just use the system and create a better future for fucking free.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

@Kati_Eliz_ Chester!?

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

@sisilyahh Yep.

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

I just got an IUD put in and I was in so much pain that I blacked out before I left the hospital and they had to get me a wheelchair

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

Matt and I are planning a trip to brazil in april and I'm just so happy

[Kimberly 🏍 @kimdotcake]

@aarianaSc @massandra2 Old people is where its at

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

Who even am I tomihht