Macy Machado

[Aly & AJ @alyandaj]

12.29.20

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

My grandmother being asked questions at the hospital :
ER: who is the president?
G: the asshole.

[Reese Witherspoon @ReeseW]

Elle Woods approves this message 💕

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

A year ago today I was drunk in London.

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

adults who are picky eaters are massive turnoffs don’t @ me expand your palate bich!!! Eat a vegetable you’re 28!!!!!!

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! ❤️ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys ⭐️

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@PabloSexibar Deadass happened to me too on campus

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@aarianaSc Because you snapped me looking like you’re crying

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

Nothing is better than getting home and taking off your heels, lashes, and contacts out.

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

Closest I’ve gotten to getting hit on in a minute was by an 80 year old man with Alzheimer’s.

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@aarianaSc Yes. Finally somebody else to write them for you.

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@aarianaSc 9:00 to 9:30

[Paul Miranda Rangel @rangohabanero]

Me: Who wants to go for a run!?

My Aussies:

@aussiesdointhgs #SuperBowl #SuperBowlLIV #SuperBowlSunday #superbowlhalftime

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@PabloSexibar @aarianaSc I’m in class

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@aarianaSc I’ve never heard you snore

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

A lesbian? I thought she was American - ari

[cha (ᓀ‸ᓂ) @soarvxsky]

Justin is the one who makes Kylie sing rise and shine lmaooooo. I LOVE THIS

[Macy Machado @massandra2]

@aarianaSc Jumping in*

[simone ✶ @marrowlilies]

the dog was like “hol up I got a better idea”