lala

appeler un chat un chat | something bold and dry like David Sedaris | more bitter than a quadruple shot espresso | she/her/hers

[lala @kimpayneslogan]

Fred believed in a hierarchical society based in socioeconomic class and genus rather than merit, and thus, he could not accept scooby doo as a colleague in their field of mystery investigations

[cinnamon bun @notsofiacoppola]

twitter would be a better place if everyone just posted this picture

[Dean Withers @itsdeaann]

what a banger, pls give the intern who posted this a raise

[aves @WNBAPILLED]

hes gonna be texting zohran "where r u sitting" and zohrans gonna reply the next day like "omg sorry i just saw this"

[Softboy☄️ @softboywin]

Before ChatGPT, it was a community of students, warriors, who’d upload full tests to QUIZLET.

[Angela Morabito @AngelaLMorabito]

Tonight is the 251st anniversary of Paul Revere’s midnight ride.

If he were to make the same journey from Boston to Lexington today, he could stop at 7 Dunkin locations. (via Reddit)

[Andrew Solender @AndrewSolender]

my takeaway from the super bowl ads is that the entire american economy is being propped up by AI, weight loss drugs, cryptocurrency and gambling

[r @tennisbish]

Winter Olympics is so crazy like everyone is either wearing knives on their feet or throwing themselves down a mountain. and then there’s curling

[Ryan, Perdido en TX @RyanLostinTX]

Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
The air conditioner was running
Because you live in the south

[greg @greg16676935420]

Just realized John The Baptist and Winnie The Pooh have the same middle name

[Put Steve Tasker in the Hall of Fame @HOFSteveTasker]

Everytime Harrison Butker misses a field goal a woman gets her PHD.

[chunky fila @chunkyfila]

next year maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

I think a lot about how the twist in this movie is that the loner son has a hidden Nazi uniform and then Vin Diesel learns he's just in a local production of The Sound of Music and teaches him to share and accept his love for musical theater

[TAYLA☁️ @ponar15]

The life of a showgirl

[Wraith LaFrentz @WraithLaFrentz]

Devil on my shoulder: it’s Friday night. Have 7-10 beers. Come on do it 😈 you know you want to 😈

Angel on my shoulder: only have 3-5 beers

[trash jones @jzux]

the real test would be reverse bachelor and bachelorette parties - bride has to hang out with groom's friends for a weekend, groom has to hang out with bride's friends for a weekend. if the vibes are bad the wedding's off

[Dalton Pruitt @daltonleepruitt]

Funnier than anything Trump has said or done the last decade. Sopranos-esque the way it’s the most evil guy of all time being hilarious.

[Justin Tinsley @JustinTinsley]

A very underrated detail in all this is they didn’t even give Tim Scott a hard hat

[NBA Memes @NBAMemes]

On this day in 2024, LeBron James discovered America.

[lauren @winonaddict]

imagine them having to scan a QR code for the menu

[bongo @bongoism]

is pee pee the next poo poo

[Savannah Bananas @TheSavBananas]

Nothing like the All American Rejects surprising a sold out crowd at Fenway with a little mid-game concert 😎