Dave

Views are my own. My employer might share the odd one.

[Rory Cocker @CoryRocker]

My dad bought my grandad 6 hens a few months ago. Grandad rang up today "They're still not bloody laying, these hens."

Dad goes round, they're actually cockerels. Six absolute units just been battering fuck out of each other for months. Feathers everywhere. Not an egg in sight.

[Matthew Thompson @mattuthompson]

My one thought on Karen Bradley this morning.

It’s one fairly extraordinary thing not to know NI politics is split on the national question before becoming SoS.

It’s quite another entirely to admit that in an interview. Raises a few questions over her political judgement.

[PD Rocco PD Major & RPD Chase @pd_chase]

When he hears the sirens & wants to go 🚓 Steady on boy, we’ve got a few hours till we start 🐕🐾

[Mitch Benn @MitchBenn]

Man who believes he’s on a mission from God to save the human race because a talking snake once gave a lady a magic apple says you’re mentally ill if you fancy someone with the same parts as you.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

Fans of the novelist Philip K. Dick call themselves Dickheads.

[Dave @kingovbeer]

Dreadful footage to see.

[BBC News NI @BBCNewsNI]

Newly-released drone footage shows the full extent of Tuesday's fire at Bank Buildings in Belfast city centre.

[martin geissler @mmgeissler]

It’s both confusing and infuriating when someone repeats your mobile number back to you with the pauses in different places. Surely 5-3-3 the only acceptable formation?

[Steven Stokes @Steven_Stokes]

Well played Sheriff, well played 👏🏻

[Dave @kingovbeer]

@easypoliticsUK Yes. How much?

[Dave @DaveLaFaro]

Apparently, you can't use "beef stew" as a password. It's not stroganoff.

[Dave @kingovbeer]

@colydawg Jaysis!!

[Adam Rowe @adamrowecomedy]

No thanks Fam.

[Ross McCulloch @Rossmac212]

That bird should be in Hollywood😂 https://t.co/2SfFIErrSK

[createstreets @createstreets]

Cleaning off the age of coal....

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

When a tattoo is laser-removed, it is broken down so that white blood cells are able to remove it, and it is then passed as excrement. You poop out your tattoos.