(((Kitchen & Games)))

✡️(He/Him)✡️ husband, father, son, D&D, cooking, and novice woodworking
Pro-Choice
Black Lives Matter
Trans Lives Matter
Voting Matters

[Suzie rizzio @Suzierizzo1]

This is Daniel Maddison and he was graduating 8th grade and had a speech to cheer on the oppressed youth that go there,but he was told there was a time and a place,but he walked up there & let everyone know who he was & told Stuart Middle School in Jefferson County to F off.

[Dr. Leah, PhD, ATC @heyitsmeleah]

Tyrannosaurus Shirt

[Praise @tufpraise]

I just want to take this opportunity to point out that there is a man named Henry Walter Wooten, from Smith County, Texas, who is serving 35 YEARS IN PRISON for marijuana possession.

Carry on.

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

@ThatEricAlper Language is incredible.

[SUE the T. rex @SUEtheTrex]

Everyone needs a bird friend, a bug friend, and a snake guy (gender neutral) they can text blurry animal photos to.

[Tuki @TukiFromKL]

the CATO Institute.. a libertarian think tank funded by the Koch brothers.. just published a study showing immigrants paid more in taxes than they received in benefits every single year from 1994 to 2023..

not a left-wing university.. not a Democratic PAC.. the Koch brothers' own research institute..

they reduced the deficit by $14.5 trillion over 30 years.. they earn less per hour but work at higher rates.. which means higher per capita income.. which means higher taxes paid..

the country spent 30 years being told immigrants were draining the system.. turns out they were funding it.. and the people who told you that knew the numbers the whole time

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

A New Jersey high school put on an ALIEN: THE PLAY production and even built a xenomorph suit that would lurk around the audience. The best part is Sigourney Weaver herself showed up to check out the production 🔥 so cool

[Liam O'Brien @VoiceOfOBrien]

@atrupar Same adults quoting Pulp Fiction and napping at their desks?

[paul bassett davies @thewritertype]

Ironically, most penguins don't know that today is World Penguin Day and think it's just a regular Saturday. The reason, of course, is that they refused to adopt the new Gregorian calendar in 1582, and still adhere to the old Julian one, for tax purposes.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.

On April 21st, the left screen moved first.

I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.

At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.

On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.

At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.

Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.

I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.

My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.

The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:

Reviewed.

That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.

Let me show you my flags.

March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.

March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.

April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.

April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.

April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.

That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.

The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.

Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.

Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.

Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.

The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.

I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.

The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.

One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.

One account is a coincidence. But there were six.

Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.

My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.

March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.

The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.

The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."

Then the White House sent the email again.

I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.

I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.

But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.

Zero prosecutions.

As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.

I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.

The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.

In my field, we call this price discovery.

[SUE the T. rex @SUEtheTrex]

No, we should have stopped when dinosaurs ruled the earth and mammals were too small to invent QR code menus.

[Amanda Litman @amandalitman]

Claudia Goldin won the Nobel Prize in economics - as a treat, she took on volunteer role helping the WNBA players negotiate for the biggest pay increase a union has ever received - a nearly 400% raise. This is badass. https://t.co/aiJ02p5nO5

[Doug Farrar ✍ @NFL_DougFarrar]

1. Trump never knew Vince Lombardi.
2. Vince Lombardi was not a violent person.
3. Contrary to public perception, Lombardi was a master motivator who treated every player differently. He knew which buttons to push, and what to avoid.

[Doug Farrar ✍ @NFL_DougFarrar]

Oh. Lombardi also:

—Made sure his Black players were given time to go to Milwaukee where there were people who knew how to cut their hair.

—Told anybody who would listen that homophobia had absolutely no place in any building he ran (his brother Harold was gay).

—Hated all forms of prejudice because he had experienced so much of it himself.

—Was a Kennedy Democrat who sloughed off Nixon’s potential interest in him as a running mate.

Lombardi would have HATED Donald Trump.

[whalefact @awhalefact]

the whales will not be watching the new hbo harry potter show. you might think this is because very few whales watch any television at all, but it is actually because jk rowling is a terf ass bitch

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms.

‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms.

But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

Billie Eilish recently asked a room full of billionaires, “If you’re a billionaire, why are you a billionaire?”

One reason? Their wealth keeps growing, yet many of them are giving less to charity now than they have in years.

Billionaire philanthropy is a sham. Watch.

[(((Kitchen & Games))) @Kitchen_Dwarf]

@heyitsmeleah What the fuck was that?!

[Dr Kareem Carr @kareem_carr]

Being a college instructor makes you woke, but not for the reasons people think.

It's because students come in all kinds. Some are trans, some are gay, some are Black, some are Jewish, some are foreign, some are rural. Some have disabilities, housing insecurity, mental health challenges. And yes, some are Christian and some are Republican.

Over the weeks and months of class time, things happen. Parents die. Grandparents die. Students fall pregnant mid-semester.

You aren't their parent, and they aren't your kids. But you're sort of their parent, and they're sort of your kids.

They're young people figuring things out.

Your job is to nurture their intellectual development. But they're young and human, which means they can't cleanly separate the intellectual from the emotional. So neither can you.

An encouraging word, a moment of sympathy for loss or struggle. That's part of the job too.

The assessments must and should be objective, but to be a truly effective educator, everything before that can't be. Each person needs something different to be fully their best.

So you end up a little woke.

You realize that frameworks and procedures can't be one-size-fits-all. They need to accommodate the full spectrum of humanity, because humanity isn't all one thing.

[(((Kitchen & Games))) @Kitchen_Dwarf]

@heyitsmeleah