KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH

Food, roasted, Ramsay style. #ratemyplate

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Exhibit A: the cum face of a blobfish.
Exhibit B: discovered under one of Gluttony's moobs in Se7en. #Food

[gary Parsons @parsons_gary]

Not mentioned for a while but if thinking of a cruise think again with @CarnivalCruise. They still have not had the decency to respond to our complaint from May this year with any conviction. The ship was good but the food wasn’t great see pictures

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Lockdown + actors = lulz worth sharing

[Anthony Cozens @TheCozens]

And for you folks who don't want to click on the link, you don't have to!

https://t.co/faulV0OYjM

[Stephanie Powell @Fuffbomb]

Do #vegans use the expression’I’ve got bigger fish to fry’?

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@roastdinnersldn This plating is utterly bereft of empathy, it's clearly the work of a psychopath and psychopaths are somewhere between ten and twenty times more likely yo be male than female. It's toxic masculinity on a plate. The concept of Piers Morgan as a meal.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Life without parole. Send him down.

[Roast Dinners In London @roastdinnersldn]

Here's today's Sunday roast...

Thoughts and reports from my devoted followers? #sundayroast #SundayLunch #SundayFunday #London #londonfood #roastpork

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Sorry Jay, there's been a recent spate of labrador disappearances so I'm afraid we're going to need to collect a sizable sample for testing. Any chance we can borrow cutlery?

[Jay Rayner @jayrayner1]

The best tasting food is rarely the most beautiful #braisedlambshanks

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@Rhoades2Rocky Looks pretty bangin' to be fair. Asparagus looks nice and turgid. How was the steak cooked though? Any more than medium rare and you're a monster that should be cast into the fires of hell without pity or lube. Fingers and toes crossed.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

"Your number's 2... 0... 7... 4, we'll call you when your food's ready."
I'm the only motherfucker in the place. "Dude here's your food" would cut it. Jeez. Now I'll hate this food.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@RealShawnQuinn You too Mr Q.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

NOT GUILTY!
This venison looks phenomenal. Bravo @WhatDadCooked! Follow these guys for fine-ass recipes.

[W H A T • D A D • C O O K E D @WhatDadCooked]

SUNDAY ROAST - Dad's "Roast Haunch of Venison with Roast Vegetables". This one's a bit tricky! But worth having a go!

RECIPE 👉https://t.co/rB2GnumSvI

#Foodie #RecipeOfTheDay #sundayroast #sunday

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

This belongs in a bin. A bin in an STI clinic.

[7 piece and a medium EDD @EddBoi_]

The rand really need to learn about even distractions @theebreakfast rate my plate

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@hanlynnnn What about masochists? They could be jealous of failure. But perhaps to them that would be a success anyway.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

NOT GUILTY!
This looks fantastic. The price may be diabetes but that's like months away. Get in my mouth.

[Other Side fried @othersidefried]

Just beautiful! The way that Smoked Honey Butter is teasing the drip! ❤️
#othersidefried #friedchicken

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Seafood chowder for dinner?

[Jasmine Styles @_newsbae]

It’s never that serious.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@tbs2215 Points for thriftiness- you seem to have made a whole salad out of the rotting contents of your plug hole. Either that or you've been conducting teleportation experiments with household pets.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

In the immortal words of @MCHammer, U Can't Touch This.

[David Baddiel @Baddiel]

Breakfast in Abu Dhabi Etihad lounge not up to my usual. Should’ve brought Alan’s big plate.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

@Alan_Chambers37 @GordanRamsey_ Your date should take out a restraining order so you can't go within 50ft of a kitchen.

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

I had no idea you could order from Air Force One's toilet on @Seamless

[FPLHINTS  @FPLHints]

Homemade 😉

The question is, does the @FPLChef approve?

#RateMyPlate

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Suspect refused to say where she got the labia from. I'll check the morgue.

[Blythe (Brumleve) Milligan @blythebrum]

is #ratemyplate a thing for Easter, @realTomCoughIin?

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

A sign of diabetes.

[Áine @Thelytokous]

Never mind the news about RHI or MLA wages getting reduced. I cooked some chicken goujons and one looks like our glorious Emerald Isle 🇮🇪☘️. T’is a sign. @DebShoes72

[KITCHEN CRIMEWATCH @KitchenCrimes]

Exhibit A) I thought it was a still from the @MarsRovers but I'd zoomed in too far. My giger counter just broke.
Exhibit B) If Steve Bannon was a tomato.

[sellie! 💌 @pastawhore24]

Not to mention their food is god awful!! And they wont upgrade that either😆