Kelsey McClanahan

"This piece is full of unattainable feminine energy, deep personal meanings, and questions with no real answers."

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

@bluxhan A guy once held his hand out like this and when I went to shake it, he grabbed me a tried to kiss me. So this video isn’t proving what he thinks it is.

[David Gardner @byDavidGardner]

I don’t know, man, maybe some dudes from the 1700s who owned people and would be mystified by the sight of a dishwasher weren’t right about everything in perpetuity

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

There should be a Murphy’s Law but for smoke detectors; any smoke decor can and will start chirping in the middle of the night.

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

Today a 6th grade student looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Holding grudges burns calories.” And I think I found my new hero.

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

Dolly Parton didn't spend her millions on vanity space travel, she's spent it putting 150 million books in the hands of children and honestly, more people should be like Dolly.

[Mike Scollins @mikescollins]

Betsy DeVos should have to leave by catapult.

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

@CNN Is there anything this woman can’t do?

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

.@JoeBiden, please get this done. https://t.co/KoYJlirOGQ

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

You wanna know how I know I’m old? I got legitimately PUMPED UP when I found out a Kroger fuel center was being built close to my home.

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

Let’s list the things that have happened today: 1. Fell down my staircase this morning. 2. Screamed at the students “YOUR COMPLAINING NOURISHES ME!” 3. My principal and vp both called in sick. Oh, and it’s Friday the 13TH.

[Yamiche Alcindor @Yamiche]

Political Poetry.

President Trump began his political career by spreading the racist conspiracy theory questioning the birth of the nation’s first Black president, Barack Obama, and his presidency is ending with the first Black woman as Vice President, Kamala Harris.

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

So what’s the vibe tonight: stress eating or stress drinking?

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

“Miss McClanahan, what’s syphilis?” 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱☠️

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Chris Wallace's debate performance tonight is a great reminder that kindergarten teachers are underpaid. #Debates2020

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

@From_Cassandra Not to mention the biggest flaw of it all- Mulan running around the battle field with her beautiful hair floating perfectly in the wind. That really made the cartoon version with the talking dragon more realistic.

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

You wanna know how I know school is starting soon? I had the thought “I should really stop at the liquor store. I only have 3 bottles of wine at home...”

[Caitlin Reese ⚡️ @TheCaitlinReese]

Kids: Can I get coronavirus?

Government: “May” I get coronavirus?

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

@consequence @DollyParton @ssohngen18 THIS IS WHY WE LOVE HER

[Kelsey McClanahan @kmacattack17]

Me reading tweets from people who say Biden isn’t competent enough to debate Trump.