Karl Meaders

BYU || Eagles || Phillies || LDS @iphonephotoview

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

Cute theory, let's play it out.

A monkey hoards a trillion bananas. The troop, enraged, beats him to death. They gather around the pile to feast at last.

But... oh wait, there is no pile.

It turns out the "bananas" were shares in a banana-launching company the dead monkey founded.

The shares were worth a trillion because he was alive to run it.

Now he is dead and the stock is worth $0.

The retarded monkeys have clubbed their way into a recession.

But it gets worse.

Half the "bananas" were tied up in a rocket that supplies bananas to monkeys on the far mountain who had no bananas at all.

Another chunk was tied up in a little satellite dish that beamed banana coordinates to the troop after a flood took out their trees.

So now they realized they beat to death the only monkey who knew how the dish worked.

So the monkeys sit there.

No bananas.
No rockets.
No coordinates to get more banananas.

Just a dead body and a powerful sense of fairness as they all now became infinitely poorer.

OH

And somewhere a smaller monkey watches the whole thing and quietly decides he will never build anything in front of these animals again.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@RealOrdCatholic @ByuSome Clown answer bro. You either don’t know your own faith or you’re an idiot. I’ll just assume you’re misinformed.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@RealOrdCatholic @ByuSome Catholic annulment = loophole. Come on now. The fact that a priest has to go to a canon lawyer to figure out what is or isn’t canon proves that it’s not as straightforward as you might think. You probably shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house

[Dan Shaha @DanShaha]

I've waited a few days to say anything about the recent Department of War (DoW) decision to not list The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a Christian religion. I wanted to make sure my opinion wasn't being driven by an emotional response.

I think it's a good thing. Initially, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was listed as a Protestant Christian religion when it was recognized by the US Military. The way that religions are listed have a few second and third order of effects, specifically manning requirements for Chaplains and Chaplain assistants across the force.

When The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was listed as a Protestant Christian religion then, from the DoW standpoint, any Protestant Chaplain can meet the religious needs of LDS Service members. When it comes to manning requirements, an LDS Chaplain and a Protestant Chaplain become interchangeable, meaning that if an LDS service member is in an area that has the required number of Protestant Chaplains then there is no need and potentially no positions for LDS Chaplains at that location. Even if the majority of Christian-affiliated service members are LDS, as far as the DoW is concerned, their religious needs are being met by the Chaplains already assigned to that location.

Listing the LDS Church as a non-Christian religion means that the DoW now needs to ensure that they have a minimum number of LDS Chaplains among their ranks to meet specific religious needs. This opens up opportunities for promotion and advancement for LDS Chaplains currently serving, as well as a potential increased need for LDS Chaplains across the force.

Plus, and this is my opinion, Church leadership probably also had a say in how the LDS Church was listed by the DoW. The Government would have consulted Salt Lake, just like they would have consulted the Vatican and major Protestant associations, in ensuring their religion was accurately listed with the DoW. Otherwise it opens the government and DoW to lawsuits related to religious freedoms.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@DanClarkSports Welcome to Oklahoma travel ball. It’s a joke. The worst parents and coaches I’ve ever seen.

[BoxScore @BoxScore_FB]

The SEC wanted 11-2 BYU punished more for losing to a 12-1 team twice.

Meanwhile they want you to ignore their losses to 5-7 FSU and 4-8 Florida. They are pathetic and delusional.

[BYU Baseball @BYUBaseball]

Onto round 2️⃣😤

[MLB @MLB]

BYU has some of the freshest uniforms in college baseball 😮‍💨

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@FiredUpCoug Just ask him why he didn’t tell you. If he would have asked, would you have said yes? Let the kid miss, especially if he’s a good kid, with good grades.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

Long live the PooP series! #gophillies

[MLB @MLB]

The most scenic ballpark in the country may just belong to @BYUBaseball 🏔️😍

[Jeremiah Johnson 🌐 @JeremiahDJohns]

Imagine if the USA tried to invade Mexico, but after four years of battle they were still stonewalled at Monterrey and there were 800,000 dead American soldiers.

That is essentially the situation right now for Russia in Ukraine.

[BoxScore @BoxScore_FB]

Never forget what ESPN did to BYU, and will do to your team when it doesn’t fit their agenda.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@rawsalerts @Walmart already does this pretty much everywhere …

[B e a r m a x x e r @centristpeater]

@SandyofCthulhu Fire ants won’t give you Lyme disease or Alpha-gal Syndrome

[BYU @BYU]

@WallStreetMav This is not a BYU group, not a BYU-sponsored event, and did not happen on BYU campus.

[Karl Meaders @kmeaders]

@AR_Premier Mike, can you please unblock me? Can’t get alerts when you block me.

[BYU FOOTBALL @BYUfootball]

He is risen!

[Vlad Georgescu @vladgeorgescu]

16 years ago I waited in a long line outside the apple store to buy the first ipad. I was so excited to walk home with it!

The very next morning I dropped it on the bathroom floor and cracked the screen. And I don’t mean a tiny crack. It was completely wrecked. There was no apple care back then. I wasn’t earning that much. I was devastated.

I went back to the apple store to see if they can replace the screen and how much it would cost. I was afraid the only solution was to buy a new one.

“Hi how can I help you?”

“I’m a dumbass” and showed him the cracked screen.

“Oh man. Let me see what I can do.”

He took my cracked ipad somewhere in the back. About ten minutes later he came back. He was holding a box.

“Be more careful next time.”

He handed me a brand new ipad. For free. I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t have to do that. He could’ve just said “sorry nothing we can do” but instead he went and persuaded his boss to do a good deed for a complete stranger.

I don’t think stuff like this happens anymore. But 16 years ago, that interaction with an apple store employee left a profound mark on me.

[Eric Meadows @EricCMeadows]

Note to bishops everywhere.

General Conference never goes long. It occasionally goes short.

This is the pattern to follow for sacrament meetings, especially with the new schedule.