Trauma makes you see someone's lack of effort as an invitation to prove your worth and their lack of response as an invitation to try harder. Healing makes you see their lack of effort as their lack of interest in you and their lack of response as your lack of importance to them.
My son casually mentioned an event and I responded with “dude, that would be so much fun!” He bought us tickets and let me know this morning that we’re going and I am still buzzing with excitement!!
you do a lot for people because it’s who you are… but i can’t help but wonder if that was instilled in you at a young age. that you are only worthy of love if you are useful to that person. so you over perform and do the most for people you like, who may not even deserve it.