Because feelings are fleeting. They are influenced by mood, by circumstance, by the way someone said good morning or the way they did not text back fast enough. If you build a relationship on how someone makes you feel, you are building on sand. One bad week, one argument, one moment of distance, and the whole thing shakes. But when you build on who you are becoming, you build on something solid. You build on growth, on alignment, on mutual evolution.
Am I growing? Am I becoming more secure, more regulated, more expressive? Or am I shrinking? Am I becoming more anxious, more doubtful, more disconnected from myself?
If none of the growth is happening, you should not be there. No matter how you feel. No matter how much history you share. No matter how much you love them. If you are not becoming a better version of yourself, the relationship is not serving you. It is holding you back. And love is not supposed to hold you back. It is supposed to propel you forward.
You have to learn the person you love.
You cannot love someone into being who you need them to be. You cannot assume you know them just because you feel deeply for them. You have to study them. You have to understand their personality, their wounds, their attachment style, their triggers, their unspoken fears, their love language, the way they process pain and joy and conflict. I learned this the hard way, by loving people I never truly took the time to know. I projected my own expectations onto them. I assumed they thought like me, needed like me, loved like me. And when they did not meet my unspoken expectations, I blamed them instead of realizing that I never actually learned who they were. That lesson cost me relationships. It cost me misunderstandings that could have been avoided. It cost me the pain of being in love with a version of someone that never really existed. But it also taught me that love is not just a feeling. It is a study. It is a commitment to truly knowing the person you claim to love. Not the idea of them. Not the potential of them. But the real, complex, flawed, beautiful human being standing in front of you. And once you learn them, you can truly love them. Not as a projection. But as a person.
I AM committed to the next chapter of my life, all that is to be released, all that is to be reclaimed, all that is to be loved, all that is to be conquered…
All efforts made by others with bitter battered emotions/hearts/mindsets have been transmuted for my personal enjoyment/success/and attraction.
I shall receive in return pleasures/necessities true to me, reciprocal of the energy/vibration put forth against me.
It is done.
I proudly remain out of reach for the miserable and unwilling. My heart is transparent and light; life’s burdens are familiar with failing to break me. My voice commands and leads effortlessly; just as much as it nurtures and rests.
I AM removed from all environments of instigation, gossip, manipulation, gaslighting, deceptive identities, emotional abuse and bought lies…
May anyone encompassing the energy become sick in my presence and the smell of their spirit shall serve as warning from their kind…
Happy to have showed up, delivered and continued the bringing out results that up a person’s way of life.
I wish to be removed from anyone who does not value my energy/efforts on its smallest scale for I know how “Grand” life should be for myself and those around.
@rivertophas I'd imagine you'd want to reward your safe space more than you would an unsafe space. I don't want to be anyone's safe space if all it gets me is the worst version of them.