Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker

FSU ‘67. Proud Union Member. Chet Holmgren Detester. Kanye West/Charlie Sheen Sympathizer. Formerly rated 5.0 on Uber (now banned). YMCMB

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

If you cook any of your meat above medium rare I do not trust you. This goes for all meats

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@jarvisfink Not sure I’ve ever been more sure of something, Jarv.

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Current wife told me a “random old man” with kids paid for her dinner last night. Woke up to this at the top of her following this morning. Is it #COOKED ????

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@IuUnclejohn She will pay accordingly.

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@kyle_johnston42 @KeaganLabelle32 You pee sitting down and probably record for your wife and her boyfriend in hotel rooms Kyle. And by the looks of it have a shitty ass golf swing you twat

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

This is going way better than I thought #LANESTEINFILES

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@obannionsmokes Fuhrer, imagine the Alexis Texas highlight tape I had on there with all the lights off. Crazy viewer experience

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Went ahead and threw a TV in my bathroom. Might sit in here all day. Does this play? #LANK

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@elliotmellinger Your endorsement was all I was looking for, Dick

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@HOOSIERDINGLE Starting with the Bears game. Could escalate to an Alexis Texas highlight tape here soon

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@HerbertLivmegh Just how you like it Herb.

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

No further questions at this time.

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@PhillySteve728 @HOOSIERDINGLE @clintthecoldcut Well well well.

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Get the fuck out of the way I have a bar to go get kicked out of

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@mel_toucher She responded Mel. The door is cracked open ever so slightly

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Scottie Barnes at Beaver the night before a game?????? Second win incoming🔥 #YESCERS

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Getting reservations at places you can’t pronounce and eating meals you can’t afford #chicken

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@IuUnclejohn Let’s fucking ride Johnny. Go Hoosiers man

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

Try as they might, the radical left could not stop the white boy from getting his worm. #TGIF. Let’s have a weekend

[Robert “Jackhammer” Koffenbocker @koffenbocker]

@IuUnclejohn Have personally never seen this one John. Hopefully trying to go for a sleeker, more aerodynamic design for what may lie ahead for him as the night progresses? Please update me on how he fares.