lavagirl d'amelio PhD

28 | leftist | aquarius✨

[lavagirl d'amelio PhD @kookygoblin]

i think things went wrong last night when i chased my antidepressant with fireball

[AllisonMDavey @AllisonMDavey]

Wait, what if Mitch McConnell is filming Drag Race

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

even if you paused your game to be somewhere?

[Joben @icebergs1mpson]

Got the friggin lettuce virus from 12 Guinness last night

[hunter @3gpmh]

get on top of me so i feel like a pressed flower in a book

[hot_cocoa_girl @hot_cocoa_girl]

A condom rly? Single use plastic? You hate the planet

[sam🎮 @blanks_sj]

me & my long distance girlfriend

[Athena @Minifarmthena]

She keeps rubbing herself against the chair or sofa until she builds up a static charge and then runs over and shocks me.
Why does she understand static electricity??? How does she know to use it for evil???

[Jack Subpar @SuisizeMe]

Flipping through the titles on hulu, making a point to scroll past brokeback mountain at the exact same tempo as the other films, not gayly slow or homophobicly fast

[erin chack @ErinChack]

Me: [holding up a pair of sunglasses that are completely stretched out] Claire, did you borrow my sunglasses again
My sister Claire, who is a hammerhead shark: why do you always assume it’s me

[olga @NOTolgaa]

some guy next to me at nowadays started throwing up and i was like ‘hey are you ok’ and he said ‘yeah i’m just throwing up’

[Brooks | 🏳️‍🌈 @brookstweetz]

Why is there a Purge-style movie for fucking

[ethan @ethanjuiced]

saying “oh. that’s weird, i just deposited $5 Billion Dollars in that account” when my card gets declined on a $3.16 purchase at 7/11

[cooper @cooperfilm]

you expect me to care about a lame ass premise like “the odyssey” when movies could be about the one night a year single people are legally allowed to have sex

[Maya Ishii-Peters Moves To Tuckahoe @meltingmom3nt]

I would probably still eat it! I’m not just going to throw it away lol. Like everyone else did to me. I wouldn’t hurt this pizza the same way all of the people that I’ve come across did. It doesn’t deserve that.

[Fleet @Fleetwood_Smack]

Angel Numbers🤭🤗. Get outside and enjoy it!

[sackboy daily @sackboydaily]

my card never declines because id never decline some trans action

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

The only thing I don't like about the term "trickle-down stupidity" is that I didn't think of it first

[Josh Deburnke @DrDeburnke]

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

[ѕєиɪ @zalatwicc]

i said it's my favorite movie i didn't say it was good