Arlene Palmer

Don't make time for people who don't make time for you.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

"Hi, Welcome to Hollister. Here's your gas mask and your flashlight."

[Wanda Samuel @vladimirenkova1]

Biggest lie ever : I accept these terms and conditions.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

Our baby swallowed a pin. Luckily it was a safety pin!

[Frances Taylor @amagdalyuk]

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, but whiskey is the water of life.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

So me and my phone are playing hide and seek. She is good.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

When people ask dumb questions, I feel I'm obligated to give sarcastic answers.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

Missed calls: Dad-0 Sister-1 Brother-3 Mom-42.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place. Then you're going first.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me?! Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

[Heather Nelson @2016Smolyanov]

Marriage is the most expensive way to get advice for nothing.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

My wife said to me, "I want you to whisper dirty things into my ear." So I whispered, "kitchen, bathroom, living room..."

[Ruby Lemon @U5Eduard]

Black People Pray when they bout to Whoop somebodys Ass! "Lawd gimme strength before I Beat this Bitch ASS! Amen"

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

TEXTING 101: (Oh) = Stop talking to me. (K) = I'm done talking. (Whatever) = Screw you. (Fine) = Screw it. (I guess) = I don't give a damn

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

He who laughs last, didn't get it.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

So I'm told if you post a secret on your Google Plus page or Second page on the Google Search...it's still a secret.