Elizabeth Monahan

Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

"I'll just sleep for 5 more minutes.." *30 mins later* "SHIT!!"

[Cara Rivera @rutatolstonoso1]

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

No one ever went to the grave saying: "I wish I had eaten more rice cakes."

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

Not to be competitive, but I am an excellent sleeper.

[Terri Reichard @bredikhinpolik1]

I don't care how funny something is, if I don't like you, I'm not laughing ....

[Teresa Orcutt @88Ardanova]

If they ain't gonna ride for you then they shouldn't be riding with you.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Frances Taylor @DmitrevskiyMr]

My wife just told me she's pregnant. God, I hope it's not mine.

[Denise Flury @khisyuk]

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

[Ashley Martin @trushchakov93]

Im not ignoring your calls, my ringtone is just that awesome.

[Maribel Church @1995Sudov]

Never let success get to your head, or let failures get to your heart.

[Terri Reichard @bredikhinpolik1]

I'm not lazy, Im energy efficient.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

Sometimes God doesn't give what you want. Not because you don't deserve it, but because you deserve more!

[Sharon Bedard @Fedosiy79]

Hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

Don't call my phone and ask "Who is this" . . you called ME

[Karen Kennedy @VeraChunakova]

Always remember the ones who were there for you.

[Cynthia Harris @Smiyanenko924]

My biggest fear is to look out my window at night and see someone staring back at me