Kristopher Patterson

NEWCASTLE UNITED MAD

[AARONATION 👽 @AARONATION_M]

Gabriel Magalhaes literally wanted a freekick against PSG just because his own keeper touched his back.

Pathetic diver

[dan 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #JusticeForHall @T3QUILASUNS3T_]

Things that are more enjoyable than watching Newcastle United:

- Chinese water torture
- Stubbing your toe
- Walking on hot coals
- Being stung by wasps
- Drowning
- Sitting on a cactus
- Having your teeth pulled out with no anaesthetic
- Having kidney stones
- Drinking bleach
- Being kicked in the balls
- 1st degree burns
- Snapping your Achilles tendon
- Getting your limbs cut off
- Being beheaded
- Being eaten by a pack of wolves
- Being hit by a bullet train
- Being boiled alive
- Radiation poisoning
- Stepping on a landmine
- Being skinned alive
- Falling into a black hole

[Olly Hawkins @Olly_Hawk]

😳 Fermin Lopez escaping ANOTHER blatant booking that would’ve got him banned!

#NUFC #UCL #FCBNEW

[Match of the Day @BBCMOTD]

Hands up if you're the first substitute in Premier League history to score a 90th-minute winner against Man Utd...

[talkSPORT @talkSPORT]

HAAAS ANYONE SEEN

✅ MAN UNITED
✅ MICHAEL CARRICK'S CONTRACT
✅ RUBEN AMORIM
✅ ERIK TEN HAG
✅ WRECK-IT RALF
✅ OLE'S AT THE WHEEL
✅ FRED THE RED
✅ MICK HUCKNELL
✅ CROOKY
✅ ANDY GOLDSTEIN
✅ ASTON VILLA
✅ GABBY AGBONLAHOR

A double-whammy Has Anyone Seen from Cundy 🤣

[Taylor Payne @TaylorandPayne]

Gallons of piss boiled - 2458 #NUFC

[Heron ⚫️⚪️⚫️ @DavidHeron17]

Just seen the linesman’s face, now it makes sense.

#NUFC

[Adam @AdamFulwell_]

Chris Kavanagh having a generational stinker here 😭

Like genuinely the WORST refereeing display I have ever witnessed 🤣

#ASTNEW

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

What the fuck was pope doing

[Taylor Payne @TaylorandPayne]

Honestly baffling me this. What the fuck has happened to football? #NUFC.

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

Why have they done the lines from his shoulder and not his sleeve like every other time I’ve seen them draw the lines!!!!

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

We are so fucked at the minute man. What’s actually going on at the club

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

Targett off injured. That’s him not coming back to help our defence

[Geordie Josh @geordiejosh]

Just seen this on Facebook, everyone reshare and clap for Ben on the 21st minute against Fulham tomorrow 🖤🤍👏

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

@SimonLester24 @talkSPORT I hope all those Fulham fans get home after the match.

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

Miley right back?

[Kristopher Patterson @krispatt89]

Also willock been a ghost this game. Get joelinton or Ramsey on