trina

[Faith @Faithnco1016]

Does anyone else tell their pets they’ll be back soon when leaving the house?🙄🤣

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

Nearly half of all seniors over the age of 75 have hearing loss. Yet in America today, 75% of seniors who need hearing aids don't have one. Why is that? Because of the price tag. It's time we expand Medicare to cover hearing aids, dental care, and eyeglasses.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Me every day: *never shits myself*

Me packing underwear for a vacation: I'm going to shit myself 2-3 times a day

[ALB @albinwonderland]

wow they took lord of the rings off of Netflix, what am I supposed to do now??? Watch my extended edition bluray box set? watch my extended dvd box set that I refused to get rid of when we combined movie collections? watch the digital versions I have? watch the

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

I love how I’m “not supposed” to gain approx 10 lbs a year. Bitch, go down to the beach and try to stop a wave.

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Why do jobs ads always look for people who go "above and beyond"

If you have additional requirements, say so and compensate me for it, otherwise I will do exactly what we agreed I'd get paid to do

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Hearing reports your wife didn’t know she was a squirter until she saw me fold a fitted sheet?

[Nēa "Dracula" Ching @TheGayChingy]

People who read books regularly act like it hits different than other mediums and as someone who just started reading books regularly again for the first time in years yeah it kinda does they are right

[Jennifer Gunter @DrJenGunter]

Look, I’m probably going to wear a mask in a lot of indoor spaces because I really enjoyed not having a cold for 14 months

[Ilhan Omar @IlhanMN]

It’s shameful and unacceptable for @POTUS to continue the construction of Trump’s xenophobic and racist wall.

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

If you let your constituents freeze to death, you’re not pro-life.

[Thing Bad @Merman_Melville]

kind of a bummer to have been born at the very end of the Fuck Around century just to live the rest of my life in the Find Out century

[Jules @Julian_Epp]

?

[Joyce Alene @JoyceWhiteVance]

No one who pushed, and especially those who continue to push, the big lie about the election should be permitted to serve on any Jan. 6 commission.

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

Put me in a dom/sub storyline with Niles Crane.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My nephew (medically ugly) got vaccinated!