k

[Séamus Malekafzali @Seamus_Malek]

Guy next to me on the subway has a paper notepad with what looks like a to-do list on it and number one in big capital letters is “DIVORCE”

[♡ @rxuxtxh]

Elmo issues official apology to the @nyknicks

[myles brown @mdotbrown]

This is the only angle that does that miracle justice.

[mo :3 @fruitpibble]

blowing vape smoke on her bush call that Rainforest Cafe

[Jay 💫 @Jayyakamii]

White people can identify 500 breeds of dogs but will mix up two black coworkers

[⚚Sage @belikesagee]

twitter is cigarette for the eyes

[Αριάδνη @vvvanitaas]

my body is not a temple it’s a world trade center and every day is 9/11

[Team USA @TeamUSA]

Appointment television. 🍿

#WinterParalympics

[AJ Spurr @SpurrFM]

The Rose Bowl: Our game is rooted in tradition, prestige, and history.

Pop-Tart Bowl: Watch this pastry take its clothes off. It yearns to be consumed.

[Ryan Log @Rythelogman55]

Beer is narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams

[lyla ★ @snoopy1sm]

SHE IS NOT REAL?;?4)?4?4

[The Dan Le Batard Show @LeBatardShow]

🐀🐀🐀PUT UP THE BILLBOARD!!🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀

[meg @casual_meg]

hands down the best thing I saw in Japan was a 12 year old wearing a tshirt with a picture of a shrimp on it that just said SCOLIOSIS

[NRM84 @Mappy6984]

Sometimes we need 30 mins

[cam @magickbullet]

Just saw a girl with a ‘Brat’ bumper sticker go the wrong way down a one-way

[dua lipa crave @addictionlipa]

dua lipa, what a woman

[Oxtail Pricing Specialist @simsimmaaz]

She already finished shopping and didn't ask me ONE dumb question lmaoooo. This is what Instacart was made for!

[k @kwelshverified]

@cordovass Some might say, tapping in