Kyle Ayers

Comedian from Conan @neverseenitshow @boastrattle show on Sirius XM, clips, album, and me active on better social media sites in links ⤵️

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Everything in my head lives there rent-free. I'm not some weird brain landlord.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

dang why didn't they vote

[Gunther Eagleman™ @GuntherEagleman]

They just made a million more Charlie Kirks.

His spirit will dominate all else.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Democrats need Nancy Pelosi to come in and kneel this game out.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

We did it. We California-ed their Texas.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Someone ask Trump's McDonald's doordasher what the vibes in the White House are right now

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Loving the results so much I just went back and voted again!

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Internet feels like it's soft launching 'when it happens' energy right now.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

I know some industries are struggling but the "Writing little theme songs for when your appliance is finished doing its thing" industry seems to be THRIVING.

[nick wright @getnickwright]

Going on the record that I hope Justin Tucker never plays a snap for the Chiefs.

For those wondering, I feel the same way about Tyreek.

If you want to hear my deeper thoughts about a potential Tyreek signing (many apply to Tucker), I did them 2 weeks ago, and here they are. https://t.co/bU44uiA7HM

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Aaron Rodgers would fall in love with Elizabeth Holmes in thirty seconds.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

I hate when I come up with an incredible idea and then I find out it's already been done. Just happened to me w "6 7" I can't believe someone beat me to it.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Might be unpopular but higher seeds choosing their opponents sounds so awesome, to me. What a chip on their shoulder it'd give the team someone handpicked as the worst. Could be fun.

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

Major League Baseball proposed cutting the regular-season schedule from 162 games to 154 games in a bargaining session with the MLBPA today. Also part of its proposal: higher seeds in playoffs get to choose their opponents, and division series expand to seven games.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

DND folks in LA! Tonight I am the only player in a show where there are FOUR DUNGEON MASTERS. They'll all simultaneously DM me through a one-shot.

Look at this lineup of DMs! Paula Deming, Mary Lou, Amy Vorpahl, and Jared Logan run the game together!

https://t.co/GZDUjRCqAP

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

One of my favorite "Class Action Lawsuit Ad Images" i've ever scrolled upon.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Just discovered that phone app that makes it look like i'm drinking a pint of beer. incredible stuff

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

FUCK THERE GOES MY FUCKING TUESDAY

[FactPost @factpostnews]

Chocolate eyeballs in 13 states have been recalled over undeclared allergens.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

Endless things can be said about Dolly Parton, who may have been the greatest living American. Rest in peace to the best.

[Marvel Studios @MarvelStudios]

Just announced in Hall H:

Ryan Gosling joins the MCU in Marvel Studios' Ghost Rider, directed by Shawn Levy. Only in theaters 2028. #SDCC

[Pat Tomasulo @pattomasulo]

I’ll be speaking at @TEDxChicago this year about the realities of being a caregiver. True to fashion, I will not mince words. It’ll be funny, raw, deeply personal, and hopefully illuminating. But not motivational- I don’t do Tony Robbins.

See you October 3rd. Tickets on sale.

[Kyle Ayers @kyleayers]

My family and I voted for the Blue M&M back in 1995 and he spent less time in office than most everyone in Congress.

[Nerdist @nerdist]

Say goodbye to Blue and Brown M&Ms. Mars will stop including the two colors staring this August https://t.co/9YFetULEWu