the perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. preferably siblings. but they can't both be the same type of stupid. one needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying)
told my teenage coworker i’m going to a concert next week and he went “you’re probably gonna go see some old shit like simon and garfunkel” and he was right i’m seeing paul simon
hate when somebody pulls up to a stop sign before me and waves me through. who the fuck do you think you are? you don’t get to decide. those aren’t the rules. fuck you