傻閪

technically an undefeated boxer

[Jösef 🇵🇹 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇰🇷🇧🇦 @ilovemilkcakes]

Made this edit for any Arsenal knicks fans enjoy that

[Sxnti @PeakSxnti]

Arsenal friends and foes from 2025/2026 season.

[LakeShowYo @LakeShowYo]

Knicks fans are insane 😭😭😭

“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4!!!”

[Jake @jacobkleinman]

“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4”
— unknown poet, early 21st century, the American Northeast

[傻閪 @kylow797]

@nyknicks Cook those frauds

[Mariam ☧ @Gaismair]

Papua New Guinea is one of the few entities remaining in the world that is not a nation-state, a nation, or a state, but simply a “country”

[mitchell @goblingrafix]

This guy on Reddit spent years injecting himself with the unregulated tanning peptide, Melanotan 2.

This is a drug that isn’t approved for use in any country in the world, so he’s truly breaking new ground.

[wassieloyer @wassielawyer]

“Baby ah - we got BTO number”, she shouts from across the room.

The hairs on your skin shiver. Endorphins flood your brain. Your heart palpitates as it rapidly redirects blood to your half erect cock, quickly bringing it to full mast.

“What number?”, you ask cautiously, not wanting to get ahead of yourself.

“132” - she replies.

132. Out of a 976 unit development. 5 year MOP. Should be able to get mid-high floor. Without morning sun.

450 - 550k purchase price. 5% due now, the remaining 20% due on key collection.

Gahmen recently announced a new revitalisation programme for the area. New mall, new bicycle path, new MRT link.

Easy flip for 1m+ after 5 year MOP.

Finally the time has come for your ascension.

You gaze upon her, eyes filled with love. She has never looked so beautiful. Sitting there in her university T-shirt, phone in hand. Her red brown balayage hair pulled away from her acne scarred face in a low ponytail. You watch her pull a funny face as she updates her Instagram and besties Telegram group with a 5 second video.

Sure she’s a 5/10 by any objective measure. To anyone else, she is a mid SMU psychology student with questionable job prospects and bland hobbies (food 🍔and travel✈️❤️).

But to you - she is the angel of your financial ascension.

Years pass.

You have since graduated and now hold down an office job at Shoppee. So too has your wife, she does 'marketing and comms' at some SME. After three years of living with your parents, it is finally time to collect the keys.

You hand over the cashier's order for 100k to the HDB employee. It wasn't easy but between your savings, a loan from your ah ma and the angbao profits from your wedding (off-peak Thursday lunch reception @ Holiday Inn Orchard no open bar suckers!), you got there.

As you finish signing the papers, you mentally write up your net worth by 500k. Then you add an asterisk on it. Just in case you know. Your wife has just finished her selfies with the HDB sign and pulls you into a photograph with her.

You smile.

A few years pass.

"No lah! No lah!" - you exclaim loudly at a gathering of your secondary school friends who jest that you have 'made it already' because of your luck in securing your BTO. "Cannot sell la - still got MOP!"

But deep inside you smugly muse "Yes bro - I did fucking make it". A friend who became a lawyer humble brags about how busy he is and 'offhandedly' drops his salary and how much he spends on rent. "Sucker paying other people's mortgage" you quietly muse as you sip on your mug of Tiger.

As you return home you observe your wife being dropped off by her handsome ang moh colleague in an Audi. She laughs as he hands her the Chanel handbag she bought on Atome and waves her goodbyes. The wide smile on her slightly red face - a smile you haven't seen in years - fades slightly as she sees you.

"We had team drinks and Thomas offered to drop me off. Very nice of him."

"Yea ok cool" - you reply, unsure if you want to start another fight.

Sensing the tension, she tries to change the subject.

"Oh by the way ah, I spoke to my secondary school friend Celine. She in real estate now. She say ah - that our unit probably can sell 1.1 - 1.2m+ when MOP leh!"

You smile - blood returning to your phallus.

2 long years pass.

"Thank you Sir" - the DBS banker smiles warmly as you hand him the signed housing loan agreement.

After eight arduous years, you were finally able to dump your HDB on the next sucker for over 1.1m. After agent fees etc, you got away with a clean profit of over 500k.

And today marks the culmination of your ascension to the condo class.

A 2 bedroom condo in the newly TOPed Merdeka Jewel - 750 square feet at $3000 per square foot at 2.25m. Sure it is a little smaller than your 990 square foot HDB but its not like you need that much room. Your wife made it abundantly clear that she does not want to have kids because she is 'too busy focusing on her career' (although you still question what the fuck her actual job is).

Rolling your savings and your HDB profits into the 25% down payment and taking the 30 year loan at 2.6% interest was a no brainer. 8k a month in mortgage payments seem steep but is manageable. As long as you both keep working. I mean it will all pay off right? Singapore property is up only after all.

You look to your wife and her Chanel handbag. She smiles back at you, she too celebrating her ascension to the condominium class. You can hear the gears in her head turn, the dopamine firing at the thought of all the likes her house tour video is going to get on Instagram.

"Ill be out tonight with friends" - you tell her. "Ya ok I got plans also" - she replies.

You text your real estate agent to confirm that you will exercise the option to purchase. Your cock is now fully erect at the thought of your ascension.

Then you go on WeChat and text Lanlan "我好想你 - 今晚见！❤️"

You smile and take in the Singapore sun.

Damn it feels good to be a Singaporean son.

[Footysm ⚽️ @Footysm]

🚨[🟢] NEW: Arsenal’s Premier League title lift recorded the highest live viewership for a title celebration in the last two decades 😳

Today’s celebrations peaked at 7.3 million live viewers, compared to Liverpool’s 3 million viewers during their title lift last season.

['nizu ✭ MODE COPA DEL MUNDO @OnizuEnAMarre]

🕊️🕊️🕊️

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

The Arsenal. Your Premier League champions.

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

Arsenal: 2025/26 Premier League champions.

[Tre🦂 @_nun2me]

when my favorite plug said goodbye

[Rothmus 🏴 @Rothmus]

Ukraine is training drone operators using GTA V.

We are so back.

[竹間 @a4241112779]

亞航中國籍奧客事件

如果不說 光看周圍馬來西亞人的反應我會以為是在求婚

好喜歡馬來西亞人的精神狀態

[Saefulloh | 神之劍 @Saefullloh]

Bro, that part is not my responsibility bro 😭😭😭😭

[Lucius Maximus @luciusmaximus]

@paultan dah publish news ni, so rasanya rumour tu memang berasas sebab The Edge siap quote @joharighani lagi.

Dan alasan MITI? Nak jaga P1 dan P2.

10 tahun dulu ya mungkin make sense. Tapi zaman la ni?

P1 tu sebenarnya kuda tunggangan Geely je.

https://t.co/tylV2BRCaI

[傻閪 @kylow797]

@staronline Stop putting hoses in the toilet would be a start, just but a bidet

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.