albanus mutisya

lover of life💯.
fascinated by technological advancements.
GIS enthusiast.
Here for fun 🤗😂.

[Premier League @premierleague]

HAT-TRICK 🪄🇵🇹

[#𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐞 @RealNate08]

Mnakumbuka hii thread?😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Patrick @patrick316n]

@polo_kimanii At 14,I saw one guy akiseti and I really wanted to try despite several warnings from the guy.Vile niliseti my first mistake was nilimeza mate😭My illusion changed and ground level became very close.I am told on my way home I walked like a spider buana

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

In one of carl jungs writings,he writes something about animus possesion. He explains that when a woman becomes overly logical,engages herself in self intellectualization and becomes overly aware,she is most likely to start exhibiting traits of masculinity. This woman king kalala has these traits I believe. But that is not to say shes not feminine,so it shouldnt surprise you that shes pregnant

Infact,from expirience,as a former Chairman of MTMA,alamaarufu Mwiki Team Mafisi Association,I can confidently tell you that these are the best women to mother. Deep down them,lies a very composed,subtle,layer of feminity that only shows when she feels safe. They are very good women,but they will only bow to the highest mountain

Wachana na hii mikora ya kukuita baby kila saa. Hao ndio saitan wakubwa nakwambia. Pretenders! Mtu anakuita baby lakini supu ya nyama amekuwekea imejaa steel wire bwana

Sasa Hapa kwa king kalala ndio maneno iko aki. Huko nje anaitana mbwa ghasia takataka,lakini kwa nyumba anavaa dress anakupikia dengu na mchele na avocado,kisha anamwagia wewe fanta apo kando. Aloo!

Infact,these strong independent ladies,are not as strong,if you can command them enough,they will bow. King kalala met her commander. Hakuna kitu kama shes masculine. Ni vile wengi wenu ni tufukuswi,hamuesi guruma ainame. Aloo!

[#𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐞 @RealNate08]

Hii bado hunimaliza😂😂😭

[Dawood🇰🇪🇸🇦 @Entr_dawood]

Dear farmers:

TODAY. TOMORROW

[Premier League @premierleague]

The best match from the 2025/26 season, as voted by YOU 🫵

🔴@Arsenal 2-3 @ManUtd ⚫️

https://t.co/WhEOpy1OFt

[Mlh.ai @mlhobbyist]

@THECRIMESAGA As soon as you become a knight, you can only move in an L-shape. On the positive side, you can jump over people if you want. Even kings can't do that.

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

Maximum impact, minimum fuss.

Senne Lammens has won the #PL's Transfer of the Season award for a fantastic first campaign at United! 🥇👏

[UEFA Champions League @ChampionsLeague]

Champions of Europe 2025/26 🏆

#UCLfinal

[Hon. Caleb Amisi, MP @Honcalebamisi]

X is a public platform.

Public participation now!

It is a legal requirement .

If you want me to impeach the dumb guy!
Retweet and like.
24k likes guarantee progress .

Lets do this for our nation.

Kenya needs a renaissance !

[Francis Gaitho @FGaitho237]

Ingiza brother in-law gym kwanza

[Premier League @premierleague]

A record season 🤩

Bruno Fernandes picks up the Coca-Cola Playmaker award 🏆

[CentreGoals. @centregoals]

🚨🚨| 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃: Bruno Fernandes sets a new Premier League record for 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒 in a single season after registering his 21st assist. 🔴👑

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

I’ve just woken up after spending the entire night at Club 1824 aggressively irrigating my throat with Kanamba Specioo alongside a yellow yellow damsel from generational wealth who temporarily decided to use my God-given talent of penetrating straight of hermuz namna hatari for her own emotional and recreational healing.

Because this economy has humbled some of us beyond recognition, I have officially accepted my fate as a self-powered rechargeable dildo. Mimi kazi yangu ni kumumunya Mukombero, kuinua makagare na kuomba Nyasaye anipe nguvu. Hunger can make a grown man abandon dignity faster than Safaricom bundles disappear after opening TikTok, chesaa!!

Anyhauu, so I log into this beautiful app expecting peace, football banter, and maybe explicit photos from shameless women, only to discover that the nation’s leading fundi wa singege and alleged pinhole camera technician has now become the unofficial ambassador of Kamongo deodorant. This app will never disappoint.

What was supposed to be a simple podcast interview has now turned into a full-blown hygiene civil war. During the Iko Nini podcast with Polo Kimani, Mwafreeka woke up and chose violence. The man looked at Polo Kimani directly in the pores and confessed that throughout the interview, he could allegedly smell sweat circulating in the studio namna hatari.

According to Mwafreeka, surviving the one and a half hour recording session required the strength of a Maasai moran and the lungs of a deepsea diver. Mwafreeka claims the studio atmosphere became so dangerous that even female anopheles mosquitoes were fainting midair.

The rasta man then advised Polo Kimani to invest in two very important national resources,, Water & Deodorant. But Polo Kimani was not about to take those allegations lying down like affordable housing promises. He stormed social media breathing fire and accusing Mwafreeka of being rude, disrespectful, and a fully sponsored government propagandist.

Honestly, I don’t even know how a podcast interview turned into a hygiene summit, but here we are brethrens. Personally, I just hope Mwafreeka never had the same thoughts about me when I appeared on his podcast. Thankfully, Mama Liam prepared me like a man attending a Ruracio with a dented pocket.

She made sure I was smelling like imported Dubai perfume and dressed like the son of a Adonija. She even gave me a lift to South B using that metallic jerrican she confidently refers to as a Mutoka that she bought with a loan.🫩

As Polo Kimani continues defending the sacred doctrine of Mwanaume ni Jasho, Mwafreeka has now positioned himself as chairman of the National Hygiene Oversight Committee. Both camps are currently sharpening their tongues like warriors preparing for battle, and unless someone urgently donates Geisha soap and roll-on deodorant in the spirit of national unity, this war of words is far from over.

For now, here at the Kalahari Desert News Desk, ours is simply eyes, ears, and unnecessary analysis as we continue monitoring this developing story from a safe distance preferably somewhere with proper ventilation. Stay tuned gaiz,, coz you know what,, I gatchuuu. Na kama kawa siku zote sisi kama walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Cristiano Ronaldo @Cristiano]

CHAMPIONS!!!!! 🏆 🟡🔵

[albanus mutisya @kyuma01]

@YaneKariuki Ayatola

[Mu chiri @Eng_Muchiri]

@MaryK2022 Bookmarked it kitambo
My auntie had cancer around the same time, I wanted to suggest it nikaona akikufa watasema I took her off so nikanyamaza. Unfortunately they removed too much meat wakijaribu kutoa "cancer cells" and she died.
RIP AUNTIE❤️🕊️

[Kevin Kiarie Ruhiu @KelvinuhK]

Hello Kenyans! Once again, I'm honored to represent our country🇰🇪 at the African Championship 2026 In Egypt. I'm scheduled to travel on Monday next week. We officially submitted the budget to the Ministry of sports as preparations continue. Ready to raise the Kenyan flag again!

[Karis @YaneKariuki]

Dangerous mtego umenasa mnyama aina ya ngiri mamaeeeeeee