Jack Lanham

#COYS

[Probably at DC’s @WhyWeDrinkHere]

Being the world’s most hated team in America’s 5th most popular sport

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[College Football with Sam @CFBwSam]

Yeah this is bad.

[George Washington 🇺🇸 @YN_Washington]

They put the skyline on the cover and the entirety of Chicago got hit with the worst Madden curse of all time

[¹⁰ @SxrgioSZN]

Who made this 😭😭😭😭

[Kittycel @Kittycel66]

Imagine trading here with a dutchman in 1603

[Mitch Fretton @mitch_fretton]

Less goals than Richarlison this season

[The Masters @TheMasters]

It never gets old.

[EPL Bible @EPLBible]

Exhibit 574 of cheating... 🤨https://t.co/wxCIWQI8He

[trey wingo @wingoz]

I love Josh… but he’s not even the best QB this season. That guy played last night in Seattle. And let’s be clear: without the Chiefs in the playoffs NO PLAYER is under more pressure to get it done this postseason than Allen. Also? Since 2023 no QB has had his receivers drop more passes than Mahomes. Sorry if these facts upset your narrative

[Matthew Hewitt @BucsTrackerNFL]

Someone send this to Todd Bowles

[dangly sack @dangly_sack]

“NFL exclusively on Youtube”

“Mr Beast teaming up with NFL”

“NFL getting rid of the chain gang”

“7 hours of Redzone football starts now”

[Coopuhr ⚡️🔱 @Coopuhr]

if they’re adding commercials it shouldn’t be a premium channel anymore

i paid for redzone to not watch commercials, if you’re going to show them anyway, i will simply not pay for your channel!!

Awesome work ESPN/NFL!! You got greedy and ruined a good product!!

[James "Jaboo" Winston @billywaterlime]

Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue. #4thofJuly #Merica

[. @HalToHell]

Juan Soto guns down the runner at home. What a throw.

[Nick Maraldo @nickmaraldo]

We’ve seen more bat innovation in 1 week than we have in the past 200 years of baseball

[Buyback Capital @Larryjamieson_]

“This is the Brownfield Fund. I’m wanting to offload my credit default swaps.”

“Alright, whatcha got?”

“20 double-A tranches of BBS CDOs”

“These are pretty bad?”

“Complete shit. Burritos underlying these didn’t even have extra guac.”

[Wesley Bryan @wesleybryangolf]

Golf course concept:

6 par 5’s
6 par 4’s (2 driveable)
6 par 3’s (2 of them under 100 yds)

No bunkers, only waste areas

No primary rough, only intermediate cut

10 yard wide fairways

Small undulating greens

Thoughts?

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

Tom Brady WON all 13 of these playoff games:

2 TD - 3 INT - 66.4 RATING - 2.94 ANY/A
2 TD - 3 INT - 57.6 RATING - 3.42 ANY/A
0 TD - 2 INT - 57.5 RATING - 3.89 ANY/A
1 TD - 0 INT - 92.2 RATING - 4.50 ANY/A
0 TD - 1 INT - 70.4 RATING - 4.67 ANY/A
0 TD - 0 INT - 84.3 RATING - 5.05 ANY/A
1 TD - 0 INT - 73.3 RATING - 5.39 ANY/A
3 TD - 3 INT - 73.8 RATING - 5.41 ANY/A
1 TD - 0 INT - 86.2 RATING - 5.64 ANY/A
2 TD - 2 INT - 68.6 RATING - 5.73 ANY/A
1 TD - 1 INT - 76.1 RATING - 5.73 ANY/A
0 TD - 1 INT - 71.4 RATING - 5.78 ANY/A
1 TD - 2 INT - 77.1 RATING - 6.04 ANY/A

COMBINED:

14 TD - 18 INT - 71.9 RATING - 4.90 ANY/A