Michael LaPorte

Renowned Gourmand, Restaurateur, and Haiku Poet

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Who do we need to convince at @BMW @BMWUSA that we need more roads on which to use Driving Assist Pro? It’s one of the best features of the vehicle and it can barely be used in the US.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Final Round. #NBC missed the leaders tee off. More commercials than competition. The Chevron Championship is a major for the @LPGA - the disrespect from @nbc and @peacock is off the charts.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Uh oh.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@Google In the middle of an upgrade to Gemini the Home app froze. Now my Nest Home Max is bricked. Won’t reset, won’t connect. Any ideas for me?

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@FedExHelp I shipped a package via @FedEx on 2/3/26, which was received at the local FedEx distribution center, and there the package still sits. I can’t get help from your website - please advise.

[Tara Setmayer 🌻 🇺🇸 @TaraSetmayer]

So, CBS News decided not to air this 25 yr veteran federal agent pointing out all the ways the ICE agent was in the wrong for shooting Renee Good, on its broadcast (I wonder why🤨).
At least it’s online. Reshare.

[Ajay Cybulski @AjayCybulski]

Brandon Beane and Sean McDermott should be on thin ice from this point forward.

Very unlikely either are sent packing before the season ends, but if this season ends in another playoff failure, I believe it’s time to move on.

#BillsMafia

[Jarquavious Jefferson III @liquidIVaddict]

The @bills should fire Sean McDermott after this game. He’s never going to win with them. #UnpopularOpinion #NFL #firemcdermott

[BillsMuse @BillsMusee]

How will the Brandon Beane and Sean McDermott supporters respond?

They got us through the drought right? They are wasting the career of the qb they drafted.

I’m tired of these excuses every fucking week they are the reason we won’t ever win a super bowl

[Lu for Alaska @luinalaska]

NW Alaska evacuating in case you watch mainstream news and don’t know what’s happening up here

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@SethRaynor_ Congaree

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@yotube Music app no longer plays uploaded music. Kind of defeats the whole purpose.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Watching paint dry is quicker than watching @patrick_cantlay golf. Come on - while we’re young.
@PGATOUR #fedexcup #TourChampionship #pgatourchampionship

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

News continues to be bad for @Swatch Group. Not enough innovation and revenues continue to tumble. Yet @hamiltonwatch can’t seem to address clear demand and release the white dial Murph on a bracelet.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Just watched @DougDeMuro ‘s excellent review of the 2026 @Hyundai Palisade, and it has dash cam recording ability! Here’s hoping that @Kia @Kia_Worldwide bring this to the EV9 via software update! Heck, the new Palisade is really just a rebadged EV9. #kia #kiamotors #hyundai

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@hamiltonwatch Still not selling the Hamilton Murph, white dial, on bracelet? Come on, how hard could that be?

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@Strapcode There are roughly 6 bracelets I’d like to purchase from Strapcode, but until they embrace tool-free, on-the-fly micro-adjust buckles, I will keep looking elsewhere.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@NBCSports at the @PGATOUR Valspar - more commercials than golf. This “Playing Thru” feature is terrible.

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

Hey @nbcsnl - I hope you gave a song writing credit to @SaraBareilles for the “Best Friend’s House” song on the Oct 13, 2024 episode. #snl #sarabareilles That song was originally called “Brave.”

[Michael LaPorte @laporte_haiku]

@LongIslandWatch When will we see on-the-fly micro adjust clasps on Islanders? I would wear my Northport more often if it had this feature.