Llewelyn

Scooby-Doo Truther (he’s real)

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Things didn’t go exactly as planned in my delusions

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

How it feels to listen to a book on the elliptical

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Bold move disagreeing with me even though I told you and literally explained that I was right

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

In America the final boss of pride-of-intellect mannerisms is when you start pronouncing it “France”

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

@victim_burn77 Pierre at Anna pavlovnas soirée

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Finally found my perfect low-maintenance hair style I didn’t even know this kind of happiness was possible

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Good luck to future historians on trying to figure out the difference between real history and fake events from a popular fantasy series, and also what in the fucking world JD Vance actually looked like

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

I am sick and tired of strangers approaching me in a glassy eyed, trancelike state prophesying my doom. It’s impolite, and frankly I have enough on my mind these days

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

I would love to win an award at one of those award shows I would start for real ugly crying and be unconsolable and actually just not recover and have to be escorted out

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

I apologize if I seemed judgmental that is kinda my thing

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

My ancestors: we are crossing the ocean for the New World

Me: if I can decide on a movie to watch it will be a good day

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

All glory to the greater hartford transit authority may they watch over me as I get on 84 on a Sunday afternoon

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Keep in mind the expression “pull the wool over your eyes” is offensive to sheep most likely

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

“I was born this way” no you were literally born a baby

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Tips for dieting during the holidays! 🎉🎁🎄🎅🏻 do not eat today and tomorrow

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

My superpower is that I know when an actor/actress has been in another show or movie that I’ve seen. Cultures throughout history have often referred to this phenomena as “clairvoyance” or “enlightenment”

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

When I say “civilized society” I mean people who have seen White Chicks

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Let it slip that I just started listening to the Allman Brothers Band this year and now none of the other ball-knowers will answer my calls

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

I am merely a man trapped in the body of a man who is fully addicted to cherry coke zero. My life is basically Trainspotting but with zero calorie artificial sweetener

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

Keep my receipt from Apple out of your email subject

[Llewelyn @large_sums]

I’m actually really not in the mood right now man I just found out she’s married to the muffin man