It makes me feel genuinely insane. Like my brain is a completely separate, parasitic individual who hijacks my body and time and prevents me from doing what I'm actually interested in doing.
Combined with Autism it's actually hell
which is also the disorder that makes me wander around my room/rot in bed instead of playing games I want to play cuz apparently thats an "important task" for my brain so I gotta find a way to not do it because the "right moment" will eventually come
I remember being extremely embarrassed trying to explain to my coworkers at my old job that I *literally* felt like I was being tortured because my brain just wanted to go home and play my hyperfixation game instead of work. It felt like flooring the gas pedal of a car in Park.
adhd genuinely means i just don't eat even when i want to and i don't work on my studies that i am passionate of i can't wake up i can't even try to die i just freeze up i procrastinate reading books i love and games i want to play and just dissociate staring into the wall
ADHD for me is a state of being. There is no time where your brain stops thinking or running at maximum speed. Before meds I thought I had a dissociative disorder because I’d have multiple active lines of internal dialogue over lapping at once 24/7. Idk how to relax or stop
Fun fact If you have enough of it,
it actually starts making you do nothing!
Nothing at all!
While constantly thinking about the something you really ought to be doing!
What about two Supersoliders who WERE in love and together, but the conditioning of the project drove them apart and then he died and now he haunts the narrative with apalm as her dead wife?