Alli Hess

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Do any adults actually buy pens?

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Still holding out hope for @JesseMcCartney

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@liz_walk What’s the one with Sandra Bullock?

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

In 20 years: “What do you remember about Super Bowl LII?”

I don’t know who played but I can tell ya someone paid Eli Manning to look like an idiot during the commercials.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Was Justin Timberlake in a boy band or....

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Today I realized that the “P.O.” in P.O. box stands for “post office”

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@chefcarrara è bellissimo stasera! Qual è il tuo biscotto preferito per natale??

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Can I still get a sunburn during the eclipse? Asking for myself.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@realDonaldTrump is the colon cleanse of America. You're exhausted, hungry, cramping... and it'll feel good as hell when it's all out.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

BTW. @realDonaldTrump took chicken parm off my plate when I was a preteen. He said I should wait for the fresh tray to come out.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

ALERT: @realDonaldTrump HAS RUINED NAP TIME! Everything about his presidency tires me.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

I needed a nap in Disney. The Hall of Presidents is my go-to nap spot. It's currently down for repairs, putting in @realDonaldTrump.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@SamHeughan yes you are

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Forget Joe Biden... THIS is the level of petty I aspire to be. https://t.co/vqGuptlzHg

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don't know what to do. Love!

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@SamHeughan just missed Sam at Bloomingdales Barbour by literally 60 seconds and my year is ruined

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Me when the best player ever walked off the field a winner #SB50 #PeytonManning

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

Taylor Swift's "22" is playing in Forever 21 right now and the irony slays me.

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

The fateful day two years ago that I will never live down. http://t.co/un0BtnVlEq

[Alli Hess @laterXalligator]

@ryanduse sorry no one's home come back next year