laura 🦈

local cryptid. dad jokes and mum jeans; the complete package. I make cute art and you should commission me. always was always will be. she/her

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

The five love languages are:
- murder
- photoshop
- quality time
- snails
- bread

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

@ahhhbecko But I miss that one burrito in Portland so bad 🥲

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

2015 during the election campaign: Laura visits the USA
2016: trump elected
2023 during the election campaign: Laura visits the USA
2024: trump elected

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

@jasecordova I’m sorry global population 😓

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Sorry US friends. I think I might be bad luck

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Playing See My Vest for Rik so he doesn’t get any ideas above his station

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Every day I stray further and further from god (have to scroll further to find my birth year/age)

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

This is like when he refused to eat unless I put it in his treat ball

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

This week Rik is refusing to eat his meals unless I tip it into his snuffle mat. He must forage or perish

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Team oo ess aye struggling to deal with not being top of the gold medal count is so funny to me. Their news outlets are counting by total medals

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

💁🏻‍♀️

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

If Grace Brown medals in this ITT I am claiming a medal because of the time I knocked her off a Strava leaderboard

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

What is this. Like no one wants the ball and no one can hit a pass

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

I have legit never seen the tillies play this badly

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

@aislina @complaindotjpeg Paying the vampires

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

I love losing my Strava qoms to people who I’m pretty sure are in cars. I’m not fast but 30km/h faster than me up a hill is a bit suss

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

@aislina They immediately settled on the rafters after #jobdone

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

We know this because the xenomorph is actually having a nap in the shuttle

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Fun fact, when Ripley says “I got you, you son of a bitch” she’s actually talking to Ash

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Yesterday our landlord came to fix some stuff in the house and when I said we’d like the bedroom door to latch (it hasn’t since we’ve been here) he legit asked me if we ever used the bolt latch, like that was an acceptable solution

[laura 🦈 @laura_chyeah]

Dad is a lesbian confirmed