Laura Saraby

[Laura Saraby @laura_saraby]

@rudybonnier @NetflixFR Die Hard

[Laura Saraby @laura_saraby]

@Victoria_Spratt Hi, our landlord has done next to nothing about the issue

[Laura Saraby @laura_saraby]

@PINsykes @dollyalderton ah understood, thanks for your very kind response!

[Laura Saraby @laura_saraby]

@PINsykes @dollyalderton would you ever relaunch the High Low? (pls relaunch and keep exact same format)

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

“Slut era” I say, as I lie on the couch and rewatch Pride and Prejudice (2005) for the thousandth time.

[whalefact @awhalefact]

many people don’t realize just how big a whale can be when the image isn’t to scale

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I once took a boyfriend to IKEA to instigate an argument so he would break up with me.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I like licking my own skin and then blowing it dry with my breath because it creates a vinegary smell that I find appealing. I tend to do this in Teams calls without knowing it, but someone recently told me they've seen me doing it and ask me could I stop.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Whenever I eat buckwheat for breakfast I scroll twitter and pretend I'm a Soviet schoolchild in a dank concrete apartment reading yesterday's Pravda

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My wife keeps deleting the browser history and cookies on my iPad after watching porn. The only reason I know is my Wordle streak keeps resetting and it's getting frustrating.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Split with the Mrs a few months ago as she was seeing someone else who she's now moved into our marital home. I still have the hive heating app on my phone. I keep turning up to maximum when they go to work. Hope it's costing them a fortune.

[David Mitchell @RealDMitchell]

Does President Putin run his own switchboard?

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘imprescience’ (19th century): a total lack of foresight and foreknowledge.

[Time Out London @TimeOutLondon]

The series will feature many battles between men, orcs, elves and dwarves. It will likely be more violent in a post-Game of Thrones world. And it will contain tasteful-but-sexless nudity, which somehow prompted fans to create a petition to ‘keep Middle-earth free of nudity’

[Joe Lycett @joelycett]

hi guys. so @realDonaldTrump is in the white house constantly searching twitter atmo and for a laugh i’d love to manipulate the algorithm so he sees this pic of mick hucknall

pls retweet

#biden #trump #USElectionResults2020 #VoteForTrump #TrumpMeltdown #Trump2020

[Sara Hussein @sarahussein]

This story made my week: A #Japan aquarium is asking people to FaceTime with its eels, who have become shy around people after two months without visitors: https://t.co/O8jfEoIp0K

[Laura Saraby @laura_saraby]

Am I the only one who thinks the signs on the front of the lecturns for the daily rona briefings look like the only fools and horses logo

[Mark Watson, still here but very much also Bluesky @watsoncomedian]

I’ve forged a letter from my mum asking to be excused from Joe Wicks’ class today.