actual human being

lizard person, big dummy

I'M NO LONGER ON THIS ACCOUNT. For anything VALORANT related: @tiggytown

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

well guys, it’s time.

i’m indefinitely off twitter. please send me the funny stuff that still ever more infrequently appears on here, like really please. otherwise it’s been real.

lots of love

:)

[Gordon Russell @GordonRussell1]

Always always always read the letters

[Alec Karakatsanis @equalityAlec]

One of the most widely ignored stories in local media is how much overtime cash police extract from their own violence. It’s hardly ever discussed, but every cop out there is thinking about it.

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

Reminder that Thomas Jefferson who helped write the Declaration of Independence also said we should rewrite the constitution every 20 years so that dead people wouldn’t rule over modern society.

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

if i don’t hear any baby keem today i’ll die

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

👀

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

i will marry this energy trust me

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

@HungryHooker omg where is that dress from! i miss snail bar 😭

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

@FerrariJetpack feels good to be here

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

first day on campus at new gig and my entire team is doing karaoke

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

it’s insane that brands and the real human people behind these campaigns simply cannot push their brains to think that atypical semi-nude bodies should not and maybe can not appear glam / flirty. it’s always a message of “look, we’re allowing you to be comfortable!”

[Jani Gem 🌶 @Jani__Gee]

There’s something to be said here that when VS decides to include “everyone” the signature VS sex appeal and glamour is suddenly off the table lol

[s @bambinasalina]

I called the car dealership I said “do y’all be fixing wheels? My wheel make a noise when I turn” he said “we do diagnostic yes for $195” I said “do that come with the fixing part or no?” he said “no that’s separate” I hung up just like peppa pig

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

aside from instagram’s new ui/ux rendering it basically unusable i’m also being consistently force fed gentrified boring chopped cheese recipes which fuels my rage for food bloggers privileged whitewashing of regional cuisine soooooooo much

[Vanessa Guerrero @nessguerrero]

Living in LA, I’ve lived in many a neighborhood in which police helicopters circle all day and they don’t do anything except be loud an annoying.

You know what improved the morale and safety of my neighborhood in less than two weeks?

A new taco stand. I’m 1000% serious.

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

every week i consider deleting this app, and every week there’s one tweet that simply won’t let me sever ties

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

@ryanpequin it’s 100% my vibe but i’m also having a subtle panic attack

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

i love abbott kinney it’s so rife with absolutely deranged folks and the most unfashionable people in california. better than the zoo

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

i rest my case

[actual human being @lauradambuleff]

that dude who does the log splitting stuff on tiktok is 100% the best smartest person on the internet

[Kevin Elliott | @kjephd.bsky.social @DissentientOne]

Formally, the Constitution allows Congress to
1) impeach justices,
2) strip the Supreme Court of jurisdiction over everything but its original jurisdiction,
3) increase or decrease the court's size, and
4) begin the amendment process.