lauren

[nathan fielder @nathanfielder]

I want to buy all the women all the houses

[serena shahidi @glamdemon2004]

Lowkey when a woman talks about her incompetent idiot husband he always sounds like me

[dan @Dansplainer]

discord can have my ID, runescape can have my ID, the taco bell app can have my social security number i don't really care anymore

[rach @rach4_thestarz]

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it

[Lauren @libralaur]

I have a BBL. A Beautiful Bisexual Life

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn't at the time, but in retrospect I was.

[metaphor man @shitbiscuit]

Watching this for the first time in your 30’s is like getting circumcised on your death bed

[possiblykimrichards @psblykimrichrds]

If my plane crashed and I lived I wouldn’t be surprised, that’s just how life is for me usually

[poast @AsILayPoasting]

i think my dad and i were coworkers in a past life

[mariana @pastapilled]

my year was so awful my relatives don't even ask me about my career or boyfriends. my uncle just called me the definition of strengh

[james tom @jestom]

new workout goal is to have a body where after I commit a crime, the media posts my shirtless pics and everyone's like WOW

[PointlessHub @HubPointless]

If I was Biden I'd go even farther and give Hunter the Medal of Freedom for smoking the most amount of crack

[lily @c0wgirlonline]

hard to remember every car in traffic is full of lives just as important as mine while i am busy exploding them with my mind

[Gatsby Wells @WellsGatsby]

Never kill yourself

[nervewing @nervewing]

Goijng into a k hole at the same exact time as Elon musk tonight so I can meet him in the ketaverse for dissociative combat where I can hopefully poison his mind with thoughts of committing seppuku on stage

[sierra @sierralayko]

two sips into this vodka soda