lauren

Witty and clever rolled up into a ball of neuroses and guilt.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

@reputeinfosys How do I buy an extended license? What is the cost of an extended license?

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Am at minor league hockey in AK. Teaching foreigners rules I know. 12 y/o in front of me has decided to correct me at every misspeak. But she does it nicely, like she’s my new bestie.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Drinking at Ursa Major Distillery, the bartender really wanted our DD to have (mocktail) drink. I tell ya, she was sirius about it.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

@joehall I guess you’ll have to get a conference to get me to speak so I can use my new headshots for that!!

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Based on the number of drinks I've had recently, I should not be tweeting...but I just got some headshots back and, ya'll, I'm effing fabulous.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Google: I care so much about accessibility that I'm going to give you a way to measure your performance.

Also Google: All your graphs are going to default to red & blue colors.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Does anyone understand the sort algorithm Google uses when I want to see the filmography of an actor? This just doesn’t make sense to me at all. https://t.co/rrI9SlpCew

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I can't believe I am today years old when I realized an amazing way to spy on my competitors' content is to look at their XML sitemaps.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I am so frustrated by trying to order food from @MobyDickKabobs that I’ve literally had to start drinking. But now I can’t go get the food because somehow the restaurant fulfilling the order is far away. It’s the most ridiculous, non-intuitive thing I’ve ever done online.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

In the last 10 minutes, I have used the words "befuddle" and "abut" and now I don't know what century I'm in anymore.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I know it's new to me, but are all chat bots that let you customize the chat flow as terrible as @Drift to use? Like, I can't preview the flow without publishing the flow AND interacting with my real-world chat team. I'm so aggravated, I don't even want to work on it anymore.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

@5le Beg to differ. It is a strategy, it is not a good strategy.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

Apparently I'm allergic to life.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

@TheAdamGoldberg No no no, *I’m* sorry.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I am today years old when I learned Christopher Guest was in Princess Bride. For three decades, Count Rugen just was the six-fingered man.

Chris Guest is a guy from NC with a hound dog & likes ventriloquism.

I never knew they were the same until today.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

If I can't call non-dairy milk, milk, then I don't think dairy companies should label "lactase added" dairy products as "lactose free."

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I know he said he'd lose 60% of his streaming revenue, but as of today I am a "net new" streamer for @Neilyoung. My dad was a fan...we have LPs and CDs...I saw him at @Bonnaroo ages ago and now I stream him on @AppleMusic

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

@kristy527 No. We started a website test. Then Google just decided to de index the site. Totally unique to our situation, but haven’t the foggiest why it happened. Google shouldn’tve done that

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

I've been in SEO for over 10 years now and just had my first SEO emergency of my career.

[lauren @laurenpolinsky]

For kicks and giggles, can everyone just click this link for me??? https://t.co/bO8pCBtRqm