Mandø🌊🥀

[kat😻 @kattatonique]

Call my dick al gore the way I run it against her bush. Is this anything

[yung.eth @yungdoteth]

when the group chat finally link

[mus @_seamusharvey]

"you gotta see the odyssey in imax 70mm"

i will be watching it in 3-5 months on the back of a Delta seat, thx

[𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕪 @FromN5_]

I’m such a deadbeat family member, I don’t call anybody 😭😂

[JackClark1927 @clark1927]

Xxxtentacion is dead partially because his BMW wouldn't drive with the door open. What a stupid "feature"

[jackson 🇪🇸 @jacksonicide]

The sensor at urinals scans your penis and sells it to palantir

[MUST DIE! @MUSTDIEmusic]

I trapped Charlie Kirk’s soul in a lesser soul gem and am using it to power an air fryer

[char ᢉ𐭩 @alcdec]

doomscrolling on twitter feels so much more productive than doomscrolling on tiktok bc it’s like i’m basically reading

[Ramdon @Ramdondevas]

Que ni pintado...

[Wopavelli @TheWopObama]

In American slang we often refer to money as “benjamins” this is a subtle reference to Benjamin Netanyahu, an American folk figure who takes all of our money

[Aaron! @c6_shanky]

You take for granted the humble car napkin until you really need one

[yip @yipfella]

Niggas buying nudes when they can look in the mirror & see a pussy for free

[KORBI 🐦‍⬛ @NoiBoobSweat]

The one kid who had the newports is a lion amongst sheep

[Jay ひ @Jay2wvy]

Vapes are training u to suck robot dick #staywoke

[IG: @MACEOMULAN @maceomulan]

even the dollar store got tap pay, walmart so fucking raggedy

[Parker 🐐 @DotComParker]

“Why didn’t I buy Bitcoin in 2010?”

me in 2010:

[Morgan_of_the_Maxilla @KeepJiujitsuGay]

"Rent and groceries are really expensive, guys, what do we do?"

Boomers:

[droodle @droodbug]

you haven’t done drugs by yourself in your room and it shows