theRealDocRuth

@leftys_corner are on our way to steal Your Pizza .

[theRealDocRuth @LetGoBeFreeDoU]

Who the fuck gave you all these trophies?
*knocks em over

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

For cardio I live beyond my means.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

My ex cheated and I tweeted

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I've never been anybody's piece of ass. I'm pretty sure I've always been the asshole.

[theRealDocRuth @LetGoBeFreeDoU]

I haven’t been on Twitter in quite some time. Don’t worry I don’t even know who I am anymore..

* feeds mannequin pizza

[theRealDocRuth @LetGoBeFreeDoU]

@Mix_With_Vodka Thanks for the 🏆
Great shit on your TL. Or something like that I was told to say.
*winks

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

I’m amazing at giving people head...

...aches.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

I’m really not worried about someone stealing my identity. Good luck with the debt, being called a disappointment, and all of the cats.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

Maybe I’m spiraling into control. You don’t know!

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

For someone who hates people, I’ve sure slept with a lot of them.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

I got my degree in Communications, which is ironic because I actively go out of my way to avoid talking to people.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

If I ever apologize to you, just know... it’s court ordered.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

I know two wrongs don't make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I'm on like 673...

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

No thanks Olive Garden, the last place I wanna eat is somewhere that treats me like family.

[Mr Sarcastic @raymondh3h3]

I thought you said “ to make a long story short”

[Mr Sarcastic @raymondh3h3]

I’ll be signing autographs at the Dollar General Store this weekend... come and see me!

[Mr Sarcastic @raymondh3h3]

If she wants to be chased, she better steal my pizza or something

[Son of Dad @ThugRaccoons]

Me: *takes drag off cigarette* So, here’s the thing, I’m just saying sharks wouldn’t be as scary if they had mullets.

UN Secretary General: How did this man get in here?