random ramblr

Nevermind me

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I wanna write a tweet about the song "Crazy On You" but I don't know the lyrics by Heart.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I currently have my Bluetooth on, so yeah, you could say I'm Radioactive.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

@In_Twittaland A-List Alice... Hey

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

-Meeting the new couple next door-

Me: Hi, I'm Jerry.

Her: You gotta speak up. He's got hearing aids.

Me: Damn...DID HE GET IT FROM YOU TALKING DIRTY TO HIM?

Him: ....

Her: .....

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

Rocket Man is my favorite song about a gay dude making crack.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

@Inferno_V The moistest voicest

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

@TheBoydP That was hilarious

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

It's not that I don't like kids, it's just that I only love mine.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

My family's kinda like Hawaiian Punch. 10% real Jews.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I was going threw my mom's old stuff and seen this letter my dad wrote when he was away on business for 60 days on a hit and run.
It said "Happy", and a tracing of his hand.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I've never been anybody's piece of ass. I'm pretty sure I've always been the asshole.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

My ex cheated so I banged some skank.

It's crazy how a game of Monopoly can get out of hand.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

My ex cheated and I tweeted

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

@E_lok44 Oh burn

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

@E_lok44 That's how U Canadians masturbate?

[Bruno Pieroni @brunopieroni]

Laser hair removal? That's dumb. If I had laser hair, I'd keep it.

[Bruno Pieroni @brunopieroni]

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, Instagram that shit.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

Little Lice, by Fleetwood Mac is my favorite song about tiny pests.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

I'm always Mr. Write for the wrong typo girl.

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

"Argument"is just a woman's word for "you lose".

[random ramblr @RandomRamblr]

Twitter is like the job I quit during Christmas vacation.

And nobody even noticed.