mom

ॐ

[mom @lexderiso]

Ok I’ve listened to every episode of @TheLadyGang podcast at work and now idk what to do, and getting work done isn’t an option.

[mom @lexderiso]

I never told Twitter I got engaged 6 months ago... thnx @TannerBerkey u the real MVBB- but also wake tf up because I’m bored and not tired.

[Neil Westfall ADTR @NW44]

Fuck being a democrat. Fuck being a republican. Be a good human being first.

[mom @lexderiso]

Emailed my mother instead of the wedding planner, then got mad at the wedding planner for not answering. #AdultingIsHard

[mom @lexderiso]

You don’t appreciate Friday’s until you start to work a full 40 hour work week. #IDontWantToAdultAnymore

[mom @lexderiso]

PSA to all ladies: it’s sandal szn, please for the love of god throw some nail polish on those nasty ass feet if you’re going to let them out of their cages

[mom @lexderiso]

@TannerBerkey Demi Lovato wants you to send me flowers 😂😂😂 https://t.co/V5FjimynNK

[Demi Lovato @ddlovato]

I feel like nobody sends romantic gestures like flowers anymore 😩

[mom @lexderiso]

Don’t understand why I went to the nail salon to get a shitty manicure.. could’ve fucked up my own nails at home 😂😩

[mom @lexderiso]

When your sister gives you $10 to get her laundry out of the dryer really makes me think “Am I a really good Business woman” or “Holy shit, am I really that desperate for money?” @stelladorito 😂

[mom @lexderiso]

My apartment smells like Play-Doh...

[mom @lexderiso]

You know you’re not good at this “weight loss” thing when a meal replacement shake makes you hungry 💭 🍪🍕🥖🍟

[mom @lexderiso]

So I found out last night that Gold Digger by Kanye West is not Kanye’s song..... THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!

[mom @lexderiso]

Just heard some girl say to her friend “omg you look like an expensive prostitute” LIKE WUT???

[mom @lexderiso]

Does the ptsd of college paper due dates ever go away... #NotACollegeStudentAnymore

[mom @lexderiso]

54 degrees outside, 78 degrees in the office. I love global warming 😩

[mom @lexderiso]

The struggle is real when you want to wash your hair but you know you have one more workout to squeeze in tomorrow morning before you can have clean hair again 💆🏼‍♀️ #TheyNeedADirtyHairEmoji

[stevie @adultmomband]

sometimes when im at therapy i feel like im brunching it up w my girlfriends

(sips mimosa) ummmm okay so you'll never freakin believe what i did when i had a nervous breakdown last week

[mom @lexderiso]

Why do you get sore after working out... makes me never want to workout

[mom @lexderiso]

@m_troeller

[mom @lexderiso]

@m_troeller Put emojis next to my name u biotch