Matriarch Aethyta

Bartender at Eternity. Maybe if the other matriarchs listened to me, then Thessia wouldn't have fallen...

[tea @dddestroy9ball]

this new trend of people being into christianity solely for the aesthetic is so funny this is probably like the highest tier of blasphemy possible you're going to hell bro

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@blondgarrus @samarajusticxr ...and now those "NATURAL" follicles are gleaming radiantly on the floor.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@blondgarrus @samarajusticxr For fucks sake, I can see your wig starting to fall off

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@blondgarrus I'm not scared of some Citadel-sanctioned vorcha lawyer, which is all you can afford.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

"Blonde" hair is a human psyop, DO NOT FALL FOR IT

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@blondgarrus And you don't actually have hair, either.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

I just checked Article 69 of the Justicar Code, stating:

Anyone who pretends they have "blonde" hair like a human theoretically does should be hunted down immediately.

[Samara @samarajusticxr]

@c_namearchangel @LTShadowBroker @cmdrjaneshepard Should I be concerned? Everywhere I look there is flowing blond hair.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@GodIsAKrogan Done, @vernern7 has willingly donated 50,000 credits to your bank account

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@TheShadow_Woker All I know is that neither of them ever featured "blonde" hair.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@samarajusticxr They're all brainwashed. "Blonde" hair doesn't exist, it never has, and it never will.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@fuckcerberus WHAT THE FUCK.

You're the last person I expected to fall for this propaganda. "Blonde" hair does not exist in this galaxy and I refuse to accept otherwise

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@AriaTloak0 But if we do that, there's a small chance he could somehow escape.

We need to send an assassin. Now.

To keep him from bothering me on Eternity.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@vernern7 To: Asari Military Command

Don't worry. I've found and sent multiple Justicars to extract CV.

I also told them CV broke the code.

Happy hunting.

- Matriarch Aethyta, bartender of Eternity

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@vernern7 @uncleurdnot69 Maybe you need to be thrown several thousand feet into oncoming Nos Astra traffic

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@uncleurdnot69 Not sure, I'm packing a Claymore incase I see a yellow version of myself around.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@vernern7 @uncleurdnot69 Justicars???? This one right here has broken the code

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@Javik_myCycle I hope you get thrown out of the Normandy airlock

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@c_namearchangel Apologies for the slur, don't shoot the messenger...shoot Conrad Verner. Who is still standing next to me. Staring a hole at me.

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

Okay, which one of you pyjaks cloned Garrus Vakarian???? Was it you, Miranda Lawson? I swear, you give Cerberus cheerleaders an inch, they give you a fucking mile back

[Matriarch Aethyta @liarasdaddy]

@c_namearchangel Well, my little girl tells me The Illusive Man views you as "one of the good ones", if that makes sense. He said, and I quote: "I don't care if he's a cuttlebone, he's one of the best snipers I've ever seen"