Brian K

yes

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

“It’s like someone painted leaves on these leaves”
Aly: “it’s the the inception of plants” 😠

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

The middle of the flower is just a flower penis

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

There’s no better love than Voldemort and Quirrell

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

Roger Goodell wishes he was in big tobacco so he could sell concussions as being good for pregnancy

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

When you're feeling farty, but don't want to ruin the party #goatcheese

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

A gummy worm is as thick as the bear, but it's got that length! #gummyuniverse

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

I get hard without context #13goingon30

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

I think they just get to tea bag the other team after that #SuperBowlSunday

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

I could stand to be a dick more often

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

What's with all these Italians and the halftime show? Isn't Lady Gaga Italian too?? It's a conspiracy!

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

@SmirnoffUS if you get iced in your wedding dress are you exempt from all future ices? Seems like a cop out

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

Don't drop the spirit dick. Or you won't get laid for 1000 years!!!!

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

I think 90% of her body weight is boobs

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

Those good damn minorities stole our cheers

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

1234? That's the kind of password an idiot puts on his luggage

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

I wish there was another HP marathon on right now

[Niko DC @iplaysmash]

Freeform, you show Goblet of Fire then skip straight to Half Blood Prince? You call this a HP Weekend? ABC Family would never screw this up.

[Brian K @life__of__brian]

"I'm Ginny, remember me i was your friend all along. I said hey once, and then a book took over me, and now I'm here" #HarryPotterWeekend