lil wezee

[lil wezee @lilmili69]

champagne wishes, caviar dreams

[goose @friedbananab]

chicken al pastor? i had no idea he was ordained.

[Manda @mandaconda__]

Sorry, I can’t go. It gets dark by 5pm and I have astigmatism.

[Pancho @mybadbrah]

Dr. Pepper will see you now

[jac @jackiexshauna]

sometimes i feel like this when i get dressed up to go to work

[geeko suavé 2.0 🦎🇯🇲 @inadiffrntxone]

How it feels getting 10+ likes on an instagram story

[lil wezee @lilmili69]

I’m a very holistic person, but I do love to binge drink and a Marlboro red

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

"Liberty Biberty"

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

i’m so sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at once

[Migo @JBW90]

Stepped outside this morning and it’s BRISK

[cole @juul_survivor]

Called the number on a “How’s my driving?” sticker to complain

[trap dad @dude_gang]

white people be like let’s go get drunk at a brewery with all of our small children and let them run around everywhere

[kathleen @kathleencrave]

you’ll already be depressed and then dolly parton dies.

[Big Kathy @lowbodycount]

i have a coworker who i hate so much i can only describe the behavior she elicits from me as “becoming meredith marks”

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

Just know …I understand Britney Spears

[Meredith's Shiny Doll Hair Wig @waterthose888]

when my favourite housewives do something I would call out another housewife for

[haileys pen @sayperhapstohws]

no offense to everyone sober, but i h8 a sober hw

[lil wezee @lilmili69]

Why did I wait till right now to start real housewives of Atalanta

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Sometimes you're eating a salad and it feels like it's never going to end