Amanda Appletree

is this thing on?

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Witches never die.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Reading a book about a field hockey team in Salem. See a girl at the Denver airport wearing … A SALEM FIELD HOCKEY SHIRT.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

She then proceeds to do that thing that only teenagers have the power to do, which is to look at me *like I am an absolute moron*

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

My workout today was cutting a butternut squash.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

People be posting pictures of their positive Covid tests and no matter what- gender, sexuality, political orientation- not once have I ever had the initial thought it was anything but a pregnancy test.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

I never worry about sleeping through my alarm because I have this magical thing called anxiety that jolts me up like there’s a war outside when it’s just a regular Tuesday. You should really try it.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

“I have a terrible combination of ambition and no work ethic.” @realoverheardla

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Being in your 30s is just buying a luxury car so you can blast the jams you listened to in middle school.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Wienerschnitzel sells tamales…say that five times fast!

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

You know you’re in LA when traffic on the 405 is being caused by paper lanterns floating in the sky.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

@hypnothighss The fact that you live tweet during your relationship conflicts proves otherwise.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

A few months ago my friend said “I have a steadfast moral compass that is easily deviated” and I honestly haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Hot take: American cheese is the best cheese … on eggs.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

SMEK!

[Mash Spazlow @hypnothighss]

Is everyone else aware of the price of a head of organic cauliflower?? 8 dollars. More people should be talking about this!

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Didn’t realize my peloton ride was in a different language but now I can count to three and say “what’s up peloton!” in German.

[Agoric @agoric]

We believe #BlackLivesMatter. We're learning to be better allies, collectively & individually. Like supporting orgs tackling systemic racism. In that spirit we’re donating to @BlackGirlsCode, helping the next generation of coders. We encourage our friends and partners to join in.

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

Oh would you look at that? The sun went down. Time to change from my daytime sweatpants to nighttime sweatpants!

[Amanda Appletree @limitdoesntxist]

If there’s one thing I have learned throughout this whole coronavirus pandemic, it is that I am subscribed to 78,000 email subscriptions.